Going grey

Frankly, it’s been a struggle.

I found my first grey hair at 16.

It gained friends in my twenties.

All through those years I struggled with the embarrassment of it.

To me, I was going to be old before my time.

When I reached thirty I was set on dying my hair.

This too was a struggle.

The little boxes you can buy at nearly any store were unpredictable.

After dying my hair purple (twice) my husband suggested I find a hairdresser.

It took a little time to find someone I really felt understood me and what I wanted.

All through this, I struggled with the truth that I was going grey.

It didn’t seem fair.

Was I being vain to want to keep my grey hidden?

Was my heart being stubborn against God’s will?

Would my children ever remember me as anything but old and grey?

These were the constant concerns which would float through my brain every time I would need another dye job.

Yet, I had to continue getting it done.

Another factor came into play this last year.

I’d go to get my hair dyed and would struggle to breathe.

Then there were appointments I had to cancel completely because I was too sick to leave the house.

I still feel bad about my last appointment.

It was this summer and I had planned on going.

But the morning dawned and my asthma was terrible.

I kept foolishly thinking it would recover.

Instead I not only couldn’t go, I ended up returning back to stay with Tim and Sis.

I had to text my dear hairdresser friend that it was “good bye”.

It was during this past couple months that the Lord spoke clearly.

I’d been feeling emotional and sick and frustrated.

I was pouring out my emotions to the Lord.

In my flurry of words and worry the truth became clear.

Hair dye really bothers my asthma.

It’s time to go grey.

Because God is perfect, our Bell, who was visiting, showed me several pictures of people who were grey or ash.

It was exactly what I needed.

I made an appointment with a hairdresser up here.

We discussed how to go about getting my hair, which was dyied very dark brown, with months worth of grey roots to go to letting it all be natural.

On top of that, I can’t handle the dye so the shorter the appointment the better.

She was great.

I only had to take my inhaler twice.

Even the other hairdressers were so kind about me having to have the window open in January.

It will take time to get my hair completely grown out, but I’m really looking forward to it.

I never thought I’d be excited to let the world see me and my grey hair.

It’s just another beautiful change.

And I’m so thankful to God for it!