Category Archives: personal


“You’re familiar with the Navigators?”

I nodded.

“My father and his twin brother were mentored by Troutman. There is a picture of them in the biography written about his life.”

“I’d love to read that if you have a copy of it!” My enthusiasm evident in my tone.

(Reading biographies on heroes of the faith encourages me.)

He smiled and left the room.

Upon returning, he handed me an aged copy with the dustcover still intact.

I was excited to read about the man God used to start the ministry.

(My husband’s brother was loved and discipled by a Navigator while in the Air Force.)

“Oh! Thank you! I’ll be very careful with it and get it back as soon as possible.”

That was months ago, but I’ve been reading it steadily of late.

I’m past halfway, but not finished.

My heart has been challenged by the practical foundation Troutman laid with new believers.

He believed the Bible was true and should be applied daily to one’s life.

One of the ways he encouraged others to do this was something he did: memorize scripture.

He took these verses literally:

Proverbs 7:2-3 NKJV — Keep my commands and live, And my law as the apple of your eye. Bind them on your fingers; Write them on the tablet of your heart.

Troutman and his fellow laborers, came up with many materials to help people grow in Bible memorization as well as Bible study.

One of the things they put together was four verses for memory work to ground new believers in the truth of their belief.

After, reading these, my heart was pricked.

I’ve learned these truths, but never memorized scripture to give me a direct reference to refer back to.

Last night, we decided to start on the first one.

I’m looking forward to memorizing each verse and building not only my own spiritual foundation, but also encouraging our teens.


Hebrews 4:12 KJV — For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.

I want that kind of truth written on the tablet of my heart.

Dear Lord Jesus,

Thank You for Your Word. Thank You for these verses and others, telling us the importance of reading, meditating, and applying Your Word. Lord, thank You for the practical applications to our everyday lives. Lord Jesus, I am so blessed by Your gifts! Thank You for those men and women who have left such a rich legacy of faith for us. Lord, thank You for encouraging me through the life of another. Thank You for Your guidance and direction and provision. Truly, You are worthy of all praise, honor, and glory! May my life bring glory to Your name, this day. I love You, Jesus. Amen.


Like these weeds disrupting the beauty of the landscape, worry often clutters my perspective.

I wrestled with it throughout the month of August.

Then, when I least expected it, God rolled in.

He is always faithful and on time.

And I was ashamed of my struggle, because I know how to walk in trust, I just hadn’t.

Yet, the Lord brought this recent lesson to mind as I was worrying about a different circumstance, two weeks ago.

He followed up the memory with a question:

Didn’t I supply your need then?

“Yes, Lord! You did. I’m so sorry for falling prey to worry. Please forgive me.”

And the peace flowed into my heart displacing worry and removing it completely.


“Lord, thank You. I’m so blessed to have Your patient guidance and direction. I know You will supply all our needs.”

“I trust You, Jesus.”

Anne noticed the change in my demeanor.

“What is it, Mom?”

“Oh, I’ve been worrying about something and the Lord reminded me: He is our provision.”

She smiled.


This began a discussion about things she’d been struggling with and we were both encouraged in the Lord.

I am humbled by God and His patient, faithful, teaching.

I’m amazed at how He allows me to admit my faults and brings good out of my errors.

To willingly speak of His lessons and His blessings from my experiences, both good and bad, is a testimony of His power to change the hearts of those who are called by His name.

My prayer is to never chose what I know is wrong, nor to neglect what I know is right, but when I do transgress, that God would correct me quickly and I would be able to grow through the experience.

I can say that He is answering that prayer and teaching me the beauty of humility.

Then, days after this, He blessed my heart with a solution to the thing I’d been struggling with.

And I hadn’t done a thing to solve the problem, He did it.

God is faithful.

God is good.

His ways are perfect.

That doesn’t mean everything is always comfortable and easy.

Rather, it means I am learning daily to rest more and more in His ways, trusting that I can find good in every circumstance, for He is with me.

Praise the Lord!

1 Corinthians 1:9 KJV — God is faithful, by whom ye were called unto the fellowship of his Son Jesus Christ our Lord.

Dear Lord Jesus,

Thank You for Your faithfulness! Thank You for Your patient lessons, teaching me each day. Lord, it would be easy to beat myself up for my lack of faith in You, but I’d rather spend the time praising You for Your faithfulness! For You have used these things to build monuments in my heart, that I can look at and chose to walk in faith today. Lord, thank You for using these things to grow and strengthen me. I know You are working. I know You are trustworthy. I know You are God and I need not always understand what You are doing, but I can always trust that it is good, because You are good. May my life bring glory to Your name, Jesus. Amen.

Open wide!

One of my earliest memories is standing on the footboard of my parents’ bed as my father carefully explained why I had to go to the dentist.

I didn’t want to go to the dentist.

It sounded scary, but it seemed really important to both my parents, so of course I agreed.

That began years of appointments to both a dentist and a therapist to try to correct my severe overbite.

I had four molars removed, because my teeth were so big in my little mouth.

As a teen I had braces for 4 years, correcting all that was wrong with my teeth.

And I’m very thankful to my parents for all the time and money they put into my mouth.

I’ve been told often, that I have a beautiful smile.

As an adult, I have gone to the dentist, but rarely.

So I shouldn’t have been surprised when I broke a tooth last week.

But I was.

I’ll be honest, I was tempted to feel sorry for myself, but I felt instantly that the Lord was with me.

I knew, I had done this to myself in not taking better care of my teeth.

I got a hold of my dentist and the earliest they could get me in was today.

It’s really poor timing, I’ve had to rearrange my schedule.

And I’m feeling nervous.

But I’ve been praying about it and this morning the Lord answered through a friend.

She sent me this verse:

Psalm 81:10 NKJV — I am the LORD your God, Who brought you out of the land of Egypt; Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it.

It spoke so clearly to me that God understands and has already provided.

Today, I’ve gained a whole new perspective for the words: Open wide!

When they are spoken by my Lord and Savior I can respond with joy and assurance that it will be good.

And when spoken by my dentist or hygienist, I can trust that God is using them to help me have healthy teeth.

Psalm 81 continues and this verse stuck out as well.

Psalm 81:13 NKJV — “Oh, that My people would listen to Me, That Israel would walk in My ways!

Following through on those things I know are right is walking in God’s ways and today I’m choosing to do so with a grateful heart.

Dear Lord Jesus,

Thank You for Your Word and the promises therein. Please forgive me for neglecting my teeth and refusing to get them checked regularly. Thank You for the area of dental health and how blessed we are to have people who know how to treat our teeth. Please bless my dentist today and all his staff. Thank You for Your patience with me. Thank You for Your promises and the wonderful gifts in Your Word. Lord, I want to listen to You. I want to walk in Your ways. Thank You for continuing to hone my heart and speak clearly. Lord, as I open my mouth wide today I will be treasuring Your Word. Thank You. Amen.

Happy birthday, Mom!

This was last Spring, when I was blessed to have both Anne and Mom at a DAR meeting with me.

Today is my mother’s birthday and I’m thanking the Lord for her.

My mother was born in Michigan and I’ve been blessed by the many stories of her life on the family farm.

My grandparents purchased it when she was very young.

It’s still in the family.

My Aunt and her family work hard everyday and have turned it into a nonprofit organization.

They do equine therapy for children and the handicapped.

Besides telling me funny stories about Grandpa swatting flies in the barn to take out his aggression or frustration, she also told me about my father and his family.

But family stories are just a portion of the things my mother has given me since my birth.

She has taught me to work hard, to honor God, to cook and clean, to love my family, to study, and she has encouraged me to pray.

Mom and Dad bought me my first One Year Bible and even went to the trouble of having my name engraved on the cover.

I’m so thankful for that gift, because it was through it I began to really love God’s Word.

Reading the entire Bible regularly, was a turning point in my walk with the Lord

There are so many more things I could write about my mom, but the point I really wanted to make is this:

I’m very thankful to God for His gift of the baby girl, this date many years ago, because she grew up, got married, and became my mom.

Exodus 20:12 NKJV — “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the LORD your God is giving you.

Dear Lord Jesus,

Thank You for Your gift of family. Thank You for my mother. You know that we are not perfect, but You placed us together and for that I am so thankful. Lord, You know how You created each one of us and we are blessed to be able to walk with You in this day. Please continue to walk with each one of us. Lord, please bless my mom today and encourage her. Lord, please continue to teach each one of us through Your Word and Your Holy Spirit. Lord, please help us to walk with integrity, honoring You at all times. Lord, for those ladies who are mothers, please help each one of us, to be praying for our families, to lift up those You have placed near us. Lord, please continue to correct us, that we might not harbor sin, but quickly repent of any wrong. Lord, please teach us how to serve with joy, respond with wisdom, and love without expectation. Thank You, Lord! You are incredible and Your truth is life! I love You, Jesus. Amen.

Sheep and goats

My recent encounters with our goat (this morning she broke into the rabbit feed again) has caused me to ponder scripture.

The Bible says a good deal about sheep and goats, but the words of Jesus have stood out as I’ve been praying.

All the nations will be gathered before Him, and He will separate them one from another, as a shepherd divides his sheep from the goats. And He will set the sheep on His right hand, but the goats on the left.
Matthew 25:32‭-‬33 NKJV

Jesus is talking about His return to earth and what will occur.

Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: for I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me. Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink? When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee? Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee? And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.
Matthew 25:34‭-‬40 KJV

Those who are “sheep” are commended by the way they served others.

He doesn’t conclude there, but next turns to the “goats”.

Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels: for I was an hungred, and ye gave me no meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me no drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me not in: naked, and ye clothed me not: sick, and in prison, and ye visited me not. Then shall they also answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, or athirst, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister unto thee? Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me.
Matthew 25:41‭-‬45 KJV

Talk about heavy.

These people are condemned by their lack of service.

Yet, we know it’s not by works which we are saved.

Jesus tells us that to be saved we simply need to believe in Him.

John 3:16 NKJV — “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.”

So, how is it that the “sheep” believe and yet it’s their works Jesus points to as the proof of their belief?

Because true faith is evident in the daily lives of those who believe.

What does it profit, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can faith save him? If a brother or sister is naked and destitute of daily food, and one of you says to them, “Depart in peace, be warmed and filled,” but you do not give them the things which are needed for the body, what does it profit? Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.
James 2:14‭-‬17 NKJV

Jesus, Himself referred to this.

Matthew 7:21-23 NKJV — “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’ And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’”

Belief in Jesus Christ is a faith which changes our hearts and lives completely.

John 15:8 KJV — Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bear much fruit; so shall ye be my disciples.

I want to be a “sheep”, content with following my Master, bringing glory to God the Father through my daily obedience.

John 10:27 KJV — My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me:

Dear Lord Jesus,

Thank You for Your Word. Thank You for using my sheep and goat to remind me of Your truths. You change my heart and through that my attitudes and actions. Lord, I thank You for saving me and making me Your sheep. I thank You for continuing to teach me through Your Word. Lord, please help me to listen intently for Your voice and walk faithfully in Your paths. Thank You for Your love and salvation. Amen.


It clouds our perspective and dampens the flame of faith.

Yet, it’s a common affliction, some of the greatest men of God struggled with it.

But Moses said before the Lord, “Behold, I am of uncircumcised lips, and how shall Pharaoh heed me?” Exodus 6:30 NKJV

Moses doubted God could use him since he was slow of speech.

Luke 7:20 KJV — When the men were come unto him, they said, John Baptist hath sent us unto thee, saying, Art thou he that should come? or look we for another?

John the Baptist had a moment of doubt and sent his disciples to question Jesus if He was the One they were waiting for.

In both cases God helped each man to see past their doubt.

So the Lord said to Moses: “See, I have made you as God to Pharaoh, and Aaron your brother shall be your prophet. You shall speak all that I command you. And Aaron your brother shall tell Pharaoh to send the children of Israel out of his land.”
Exodus 7:1‭-‬2 NKJV

God sent Moses’s brother, Aaron, to share the task and the Bible records their faithfulness.

Then Moses and Aaron did so; just as the Lord commanded them, so they did.
Exodus 7:6 NKJV

The man God sent to prepare the way for the Messiah was encouraged through the testimony of his disciples, who saw the miracles and gave him the words of Jesus.

Luke 7:21-23NKJV — And that very hour He cured many of infirmities, afflictions, and evil spirits; and to many blind He gave sight. Jesus answered and said to them, “Go and tell John the things you have seen and heard: that the blind see, the lame walk, the lepers are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, the poor have the gospel preached to them. And blessed is he who is not offended because of Me.”

Thus, we should be prepared for doubt to cloud our perspective.

God gives us His Word to guide and direct, encourage and exhort.

2 Corinthians 10:5 NKJV — casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ,

Whenever doubt has engaged our thoughts, we have the ability to not only recognize this tactic of the enemy, but also the ability to replace those lies with truth.

Philippians 4:8 NKJV — Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.

On a personal note: I’ve been down with a debilitating migraine for the past five days and can testify that if someone is going to get hit with doubt, seasons of physical pain are a ripe area for it. Yet, God’s truth prevailed through my days of suffering and doubt was obliterated in the words of God. Especially, when at my worst, I found comfort and courage through a recent truth: suffering is an opportunity to praise God.

If you, dear reader, are struggling with doubt, I’d encourage you to seek God’s truth in His Word. Fill your mind with the words of life, for truly there is no other way to be saved than through Jesus Christ.

Also, pray for God to bring you encouragement through others. After all, the Lord gave Moses his brother and John his disciples. God can use other godly people to testify to His truth and help carry the calling God has given.

Dear Lord Jesus,

Thank You for Your Word. Thank You for Your testimony which has been the gift of eternal life for generations. Thank You for how You bring us through the tests and trials of this journey, how You use these things in our lives for good. Lord Jesus, I praise Your holy name! You are great and greatly to be praised! Your ways are perfect and Your Word is true. Please continue to teach us how to defend ourselves from the attacks of the enemy. Please continue to walk us through each day allowing us to learn all the more how to totally surrender ourselves before You. Thank You for Your incredible love. May Your name be glorified throughout the whole earth. Amen.

Profound truth

Our goat had never seen a turkey in the field, much less three hens and several chicks.

She was so intent on watching them, it was rather comical.

Yet, she never got close.

Her distance was maintained through the fear of the unknown.

Eventually, they moved off and she lost interest and began to graze.

And I saw myself in this.

As a teen, I was very interested in the Word, but I never drew closer than my one chapter a night (if I did that).

I kept my distance, never truly studying scripture for myself.

My excuse was time.

“I don’t have time to study, our pastor has so much more time and he has an education too. I’ll just listen to the sermon and learn that way.”

It wasn’t until I was married and had a baby that I realized my unfamiliarity with God’s Word.

Yet, I still struggled with allowing myself to grow weary of “trying” and would return to my everyday tasks.

It was in the midst of the struggle when God spoke clearly.

I was praying, asking for wisdom, telling the Lord I wanted to know Him better when He responded.

Read My Word.

I felt so foolish.

I had the answer to both requests sitting on my shelf.

The thing I was keeping my distance from was the thing I wanted most.

Since then, I have learned to love scripture.

Bible study, memory verses, listening to the Word, reading the Word are my life line.

And I’m still learning.

No matter how many times I read a passage, it’s always fresh.

Today it was a verse in Galatians:

Galatians 3:6 KJV — Even as Abraham believed God, and it was accounted to him for righteousness.

That is the kind of faith I want.

To believe God, for His Word is true.

Dear Lord Jesus,

Thank You for Your Word. Thank You for speaking to me both today and so long ago. Thank You for Your faithfulness. Your Word is truth, Your path is right, You alone are worthy of praise, honor, and glory. You, Jesus, are the Savior and nothing is more important than that. Thank You for all You have done to reach out to mankind. Thank You for Your awesome love. I love You, Jesus. Amen.

Personal reflections

Galatians 1:23-24 NKJV — But they were hearing only, “He who formerly persecuted us now preaches the faith which he once tried to destroy.”
And they glorified God in me.

As I was reading these verses, this morning, I was reminded of God’s incredible ways.

He takes what we see as tragic, horrible, loss, and transforms it into something incredible.

The Apostle Paul’s life is a wonderful testimony to God’s faithfulness and truth.

Romans 8:28 KJV — And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

And through His incredible works, which people see, God is glorified.

Galatians 1:24 NKJV — And they glorified God in me.

I didn’t understand this truth until four years ago.

My sight was skewed, I looked upon hard things as something we endure, something which teaches us about God.

But I didn’t realize it is an opportunity to praise Him, to glorify Him.

Sadly, in my twenties, I didn’t truly believe that God was working all things together for good.

I regret my self centered perspective and how I allowed the enemy to rob me of my joy through self-pity.

When disappointment came, I allowed resentment, rather than seeking the Lord for His path.

When loss came, I held on to faith with white knuckles, thinking my efforts were some how doing God a favor, rather than finding my faith built through praise, for He had given me such blessings through these departed loved ones.

When disagreements came, I stood rigid, unyielding, arrogantly thinking I understood the other’s motives, and holding them in the wrong, rather than gently expressing my fears and perspectives, listening with open heart, trust, and love to God, knowing that He was working through these things.

Even in the light of these past errors, I can praise God.

First, because He forgave me.

Second, because He has taught me through it.

Finally, because I have the understanding of past experiences, which I can share with others, encouraging them not to fall into the same errors I did.

Even in my regrets, God is working.

For He is good.

And like Paul, I want others to see what God has done in my life, and give glory to God.

Dear Lord Jesus,

Thank You for Your Word. Thank You for teaching me so much in my 45 years of life. I’m excited to see what else You have to teach me in today. Thank You for Your wonderous works. Thank You for Your love. Thank You for salvation. May the whole earth be filled with the knowledge of the glory of You! Amen.


Sometimes, I need a lesson in perseverance.

Recently, God used one of our furniture projects to teach me more about persevering.

It started off really well.

I was excited at how quickly I was able to update this table.

The chairs were another story.

It seemed everything was troublesome.

The table sat waiting for me to get the chairs finished.

Unfortunately, while waiting it was blocking a portion of the garage.

So, things got placed on it when we were trying to access the storage beyond it.

Which eventually led to a large scratch across the top of the table.

The person who accidentally caused the mark was really upset with themselves.

I wasn’t too thrilled either, but upon hearing how it happened it was understandable.

We went out together to look it over.

God allowed that scratch to show me the polyurethane had gone bad.

It was peeling back off the table from both sides of the scratch, definitely not a good thing.

So, we hauled the table back to the shop for it to be sanded down again.

Afterwards, I repainted it with a “weathered” appearance, liking it better than before.

I was excited when I put the polyurethane on, until it began to dry.

The hated yellow of bleed-through began to show.

All the extra sanding had allowed the stained wood to seep through into the whitewashed top.

I can’t express how terrible it looked, and I didn’t take a picture.

“Well, the polyurethane will have to be sanded off again,” I stated through my disappointment.

Our son grimaced, since that is his job, and it would be the third time he’d have to sand the same project.

I didn’t blame him, I was frowning, and on the inside, I felt like crying.

“I need to walk away,” I stated as gently as possible to our son. “I’m really sorry this has been so tough.”

(I love how God uses our children in our lives.)

He shrugged it off and smiled at me.

“It’ll be okay, Mom”

I needed that and walked over to give him a hug.

Not only did he sand it off, but he also put the primer on, because Shellac is the only thing that deals with bleed-through and I can’t handle the odor.

We carried it back to the garage and I painted it with multiple coats of paint and then polyurethane from a brand new can.

I’d finished painting the chairs, but hadn’t been able to get the seats recovered.

Handsome, (my husband’s nickname) pulled all the staples, but I had to wait to get the fabric cut.

Jase and I tackled the project the next day and since we were recovering those two chairs, I figured we’d do a third for a different dining set.

I cut the fabric and got the chair seats recovered.

We walked these to the garage to place them on the chairs.

We both stared at the gray chairs with the new gray and white fabric.

It looked terrible.

Somehow, the shade on the fabric made the shade on the chair look old and dingy.

I grabbed the other seat we had done in a different fabric for another dining set and placed it on the chair.

“Yeah, Mom, that works.”

I smiled a little ruefully, since I knew switching the fabrics meant undoing all the work we’d just done.

But, it was for the best, because when looking for backing fabric, I found another upholstery fabric which looked better on than the gray and white on the second dining set.

And after some prayer, I realized why God allowed it all.

Four of our own dining room chairs needed to be recovered and the gray and white fabric looks great!

My heart is full of gratitude, for the Lord’s patient lessons, especially when I’m struggling with understanding.

In circumstances like these, when I don’t understand, is where my faith grows the most.

Praise God!

Dear Lord Jesus,

Thank You for Your patience. Thank You for this lesson in Persephone. Lord, I know there are people throughout history who have endured far greater trials and walked with perseverance. Thank You for them and their testimonies. Thank You for how You use the little things as well as the big ones in my life. Lord, as I step into today, I humbly request Your guidance. Lord, I’m struggling with fear and I know that’s not Your will for me. Thank You for all You are doing and for calming my anxiety. Thank You for teaching me to rest in You while being diligent, preserving through thick and thin. How I love You, Lord! Thank You for first loving me. Amen.

A bit of a rough go

This is a photograph of our garage.

It’s one of the positive things which occurred this week.

Handsome (my husband) came home from work one day and did all of this.

I should have taken a “before” picture, but I wasn’t thinking about it at the time.

Rather, I was feeling a bit panicked over a comment my husband had made when he called me on his way home.

My husband loves me very much and I love him.

We are two extremely different people and over the past week, we’ve had a bit of a rough go.

Communication has never been our strong suit, and although we are continuing to try to learn how to communicate well, I can’t say this week felt like a win.

It was more like survival.

And frankly, I think a large percentage of the lack of communication was me.

I couldn’t see it at first, but suddenly a bunch of small things all began to pile up in my emotions.

Instead of working to forgive each circumstance, I somehow began a mental list.

After a few days of struggling with terribly poor attitudes, and praying throughout this, God used a couple moments to fold back the hurt and reveal the truth.

I was afraid.

I wasn’t walking in forgiveness and humility.

I had ignored my husband’s perspective and God’s, and was focused upon mine.


How quickly fear becomes a slimy slope which my emotions and thoughts become bogged down in and the decent into self-pity and hopelessness begins to permeate everything.

Praise God for His mercy and grace!

Not only did He lift me out of the yuck, He cleansed me, and wrapped me in new understanding.

With these gifts came instructions.

Trust Me.

As a wife, I can often get caught up in looking to my husband to be the answer to my concerns, the comfort of my hurt, the tireless solution to all my needs.

But that’s not his job.

Those things belong to Jesus.

My husband is a wonderful man, but he’s not God and I shouldn’t expect him to be able to be.

Love him.

Scripture is clear, the woman was created by God for man as a helper, a complement to him. (Genesis 2:18-25)

Marriage is God’s foundation for all of society and it’s meant to work as a team, two people who love and serve God, together.

I’d allowed my hurt to dampen my love and mar my service both to my husband and to the Lord.

Allow Me to lead.

I’m a first born.

God has put me in many positions of leadership over the years, and I have a “can do” attitude about most of life; if I see a need, my first response is to try to fill it.

But that’s not following.

Just because I see what I perceived to be need doesn’t mean it is, nor does it automatically fall to my list of responsibilities.

I’ve learned, through some painful experiences, that I must wait upon the Lord for His direction not charge off on my own.

The root of my fears, which triggered my hurt were, in some degree, my reaction to “needs” which I was trying to fill in my own strength.

I had taken these things to the Lord, but sadly, I was failing at waiting upon Him for direction.

Praise God for His forgiveness!

I’m also extremely thankful to my husband for his forgiveness.

I’m not just full of gratitude for God using this to show me my heart, I’m expecting Him to continue to use it.

When I need to be chastised by the Lord, I know it’s for my best and with continued humility and remembrance an opportunity for future reference.

So, although this week has been a bit of a rough go, I know God will use it for good.

Proverbs 3:11 KJV — My son, despise not the chastening of the LORD; neither be weary of his correction:

Dear Lord Jesus,

Thank You for Your correction. Thank You for Your faithfulness throughout my error. Lord, thank You for helping me see the truth and for giving me Your perspective. Thank You for relieving my fears. Thank You for Your help in times of trouble. Lord, I know You are Sovereign and I worship Your holy name. You alone are worthy of all honor, all glory, all praise. I love You, Jesus. Thank You for first loving me. Amen.