For 8 years my wife has been writing Patiently Hopeful. She has faithfully posted prayers and thoughts from her morning time with our savior Jesus. For the first time since the blogs beginning my wife will not be posting. Today she lies in bed with a migraine and has asked me to write out a prayer. For my wife (Hope) prayer and praise are her life line. Many nights she will be up praying for hours. She has been on her face before the Lord for our children, and myself many times. Therefore this morning when she asked me to write a prayer for her blog due to being ill I felt it not only an honor but a humbling experience to sit behind the keys. With that said though, my apologies to you the reader it is not every day a spouse will allow a post to go up on their personal blog without reviewing what was written. I feel it necessary to seize this opportunity not to only pray but to allow you the reader into our lives a bit. But before that I would also like to thank you all for supporting my wife Hope. Never have I met a person who selflessly serves others with the zeal my wife does. Every like, comment and repost she praises the Lord for.
Job wrote “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return there. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; Blessed be the name of the Lord.” (Job 1:21) This morning while holding my wife’s hand as she vomited into the toilet this verse came to mind. In between the coughs and tears I could hear her voice praising the Lord for the “tent” she has been given. I have been married to Hope for 23 years. With our first child she had torn her cervix. Going un noticed we left the hospital and went about our business only to have the tear worsen causing a hemorrhage. I was told she would have to stay in the hospital over night due to the loss of blood. “God is good” would be her first words in the morning. In the early years like many money was tight. I think this was the beginning of the prayers in the grocery store. Hope would walk through the isles with a few dollars in the account and pray “Jesus your will be done today, how do I shop for my family”. The Lord would bless us with our second daughter while I was in school and working full time at a local mill. I would leave the house at 3:30am to be to work by 4am work tell 4pm only to drive 40 min to make it to my night classes by 5pm. School would be out at 9-9:30pm and we would start it all over the next day. This lasted for almost four years during that time my wife would be taking care of the kids, running women’s ministry at our church and still find time to write prayers down on note cards. I would find them in my shirts, lunch box, school books, and even in my dressers. We would move to England to help in a church. The Lord would teach us what it meant to be humble. We sold everything we owned with the exception of a vehicle. The house, kids toys, clothes, furniture, was all gone. Landing at the airport in Manchester we had only the clothes in our suitcases and money from the sale of the house. We were not allowed to work in the UK and felt that the Lord did not want us to ask for support. God would show us what it was to wait for his provision. The day we moved into our home in England the tenants before left a kitchen table. Walking in Hope began to cry when asked why by one of our children (we had four by then) she said “I asked God for a table like this a few years ago, it took me selling mine to him to provide this one”. We learned so much in England about the provision and character of God.
When we moved back home the sicknesses came. First the women issues and hysterectomy. At one point in the journey, I would carry my wife into the doctor’s office. She weighed just over 90lbs. She had not been able to keep food down for several days, her cycle would last for weeks, anemic, unable to get out of bed she would need help any time she had to move. Hopes prayers would fill our house. We would sit on the bed as a family, she would have home schooling while laying there helping the kids work out problems. All the while quoting scripture about healing, and Gods goodness. During this time I was starting up a business trying to make ends meet. Hope would be in bed often when I left to go to work and still there when I came home. Bible laying beside her prayer journal open. Hope would get better and take on responsibilities at our church helping with the home schooling co-op. She would pray for each child by name every morning, pray for their families, and for our community. I walked into our room to find Hope staring her clothes in the closet. I asked what she was doing and she said “every day I wake up I ask Jesus what he would like me to wear today, I was just waiting for an answer” As crazy as this sounds to some it has become normal place around our house. Now my adult children do the same!
A few years ago when Hopes heath started to decline and she became bed ridden again due to immune issues and asthma our family made a transition. Before I think we prayed for Hope out of selfishness. My prayers would sound something like “please heal Hope Lord we need mom to be healthy”. But now we pray for understanding what the Lord is doing. Excitement of what God is going to teach us. We pray for the ability to like Job say “blessed be your name”. This bout with illness has been the longest yet. Hope may never be physically whole again. But I know she would never trade it for the relationship she has with the Lord is nothing like I have ever witnessed. Praise God for my wife.
Would you please pray with me?
Thank you for this day. Thank you we have the ability to serve you today. We are not guaranteed tomorrow Lord so today please give us the ability to know what you want us to do. Jesus we want to serve you with our whole hearts today. We are nothing but dust Jesus but you are God. You have the ability to use this dust to glorify our Father in heaven. Jesus I so bad want to do your will and to be selfless in what I do please help me today not to think of myself but to be your hands and feet. Jesus please show me what it is to love. How to love my enemies please show me Jesus today how to be a puzzle piece in this broken world that links some of it together. Jesus today there are many people hurting. Our hearts go out to them I pray that you would be the rock, the foundation in their lives. Jesus please help us to lead the hurting to the rock. Father I am broken over the sin in the world but acknowledge that just as I am broken over it I have also been a part of it please forgive me Father and teach me to forgive. Lord many in the world are sick we ask for healing as we know you can. But we also know that you walked by several people that were sick because it was not their time. Jesus if it is not Hopes time for healing I pray we would be able to endure for your glory. Please show our family what you are doing in the spiritual realm. God I know that all things work together for the good of those called to Christ Jesus. I also know that Hope has been called by you, so we are excited to see what good you are doing with her sickness. Jesus I will praise you today no matter what the outcome of today brings because “Naked I came, Naked I return, but blessed be the name of the Lord” Jesus I love you with all my heart and thank you for what you are doing in our family.