Count down

It will be here.

The ceremony.

You probably can’t tell, but this is a cow pasture.

However, this Saturday it will be a wedding.

Since we are working with our daughter and her to be hubby on the wedding I feel very much the count down.

What are the final details?

Whose driving the bride’s maids to the venue?

What was the price of…?

Yet when we were cleaning the cow manure from the area which will soon hold hay bales and guests, I kept thinking about all that still needed to be done.

I wish I hadn’t.

Throughout this process I have wanted to simply enjoy the pieces which will make the end result.

Since, I can’t go back to change yesterday or before, I am praying today.

I want to stay centered on the joys.

I want to focus on the blessings.

I want to honor God throughout the process.

After all none of this would be possible without Him.

He has been faithful daily in each step.

I keep being drawn back to Psalm 150.

“Praise the LORD!
Praise God in His sanctuary;
Praise Him in His mighty firmament!
Praise Him for His mighty acts;
Praise Him according to His excellent greatness!
Praise Him with the sound of the trumpet;
Praise Him with the lute and harp!
Praise Him with the timbrel and dance;
Praise Him with the stringed instruments and flutes!
Praise Him with loud cymbals;
Praise Him with clashing cymbals!
Let everything that has breath praise the LORD.
Praise the LORD!”

This is my heart’s desire.

That in everything, every step, every piece, I can praise the Lord! 

Where’s the BANG?

The fireworks were lovely.

As I sat in my folding camp chair holding hands with my hubby,
I was thankful.

Living where we do is a blessing.

Literally the show was five minutes from our house and when it was over we said goodbye to some friends and neighbors.

As we drove home I thought about the year I was too sick to come and how much I’d missed it.

I thought about the way our lives are changing.

I thought about the year we lived overseas and how much our family missed the celebration.

And I nearly cried.

I realized last year was the last time all our children would celebrate 4th of July together.

I didn’t know it at the time.

None of us could have understood the changes which were a mere year away.

Our oldest girl wasn’t with us at the celebration, because she was enjoying a special seat with the young man she’s going to marry.

Next year they will more than likely be moving away before the 4th.

Where was the bang?

What happened to the change in music?

I don’t know why but I think I’ve been expecting something to “signal” me to the fact that my daughter is an adult.

Like the high pitched screech of a firework or the bright colorful lights bursting in the sky I thought raising our kids would end with a big finale.

It hasn’t.

Although as the wedding draws ever closer, it feels like a big thing, but it doesn’t feel like end as much as beginning.

I keep looking at our girl and to-be-son and think, “Wow!  A new family!” not “Wow! I finally got one raised.”.

Maybe I’ve watched too many movies and was waiting for the music change to let me know it had come.

The bang moment of being completed with child and the beginning of adult.

Funny, I didn’t hear any bang when I grew up.

Of course I’m not sure I’ve finished growing up either.

The longer I live the more I see how much I still have to learn.

So that must be why there’s nothing to tell me when I’m finished.

Even though she’s an adult doesn’t mean she finished growing.

Even though she’s no longer in my home doesn’t mean she won’t want to know her mom loves her.

If God is still working on me, He will work on her as well.

We can learn to walk a new path as sisters in Christ, while still understanding our history together.

So, on with a new way to stretch, to trust Jesus, and a new way to walk.

I might be finished with the everyday parenting task, but I don’t have to be finished with loving our girl.

In fact it’s the opposite.

Now I get a new son to love as well!

Dear Jesus,

Please bless our daughter and her husband as they seek You and begin a new family on their wedding day. Place Your hand upon them and give them an over flow of love for each other and a desire to center their lives and relationship upon You and Your word. Thank You for walking them this far. Thank you for walking me this far.
May our lives bring glory to Your name, Jesus.

Amen.