This is a photograph of our garage.
It’s one of the positive things which occurred this week.
Handsome (my husband) came home from work one day and did all of this.
I should have taken a “before” picture, but I wasn’t thinking about it at the time.
Rather, I was feeling a bit panicked over a comment my husband had made when he called me on his way home.
My husband loves me very much and I love him.
We are two extremely different people and over the past week, we’ve had a bit of a rough go.
Communication has never been our strong suit, and although we are continuing to try to learn how to communicate well, I can’t say this week felt like a win.
It was more like survival.
And frankly, I think a large percentage of the lack of communication was me.
I couldn’t see it at first, but suddenly a bunch of small things all began to pile up in my emotions.
Instead of working to forgive each circumstance, I somehow began a mental list.
After a few days of struggling with terribly poor attitudes, and praying throughout this, God used a couple moments to fold back the hurt and reveal the truth.
I was afraid.
I wasn’t walking in forgiveness and humility.
I had ignored my husband’s perspective and God’s, and was focused upon mine.
How quickly fear becomes a slimy slope which my emotions and thoughts become bogged down in and the decent into self-pity and hopelessness begins to permeate everything.
Praise God for His mercy and grace!
Not only did He lift me out of the yuck, He cleansed me, and wrapped me in new understanding.
With these gifts came instructions.
As a wife, I can often get caught up in looking to my husband to be the answer to my concerns, the comfort of my hurt, the tireless solution to all my needs.
But that’s not his job.
Those things belong to Jesus.
My husband is a wonderful man, but he’s not God and I shouldn’t expect him to be able to be.
Scripture is clear, the woman was created by God for man as a helper, a complement to him. (Genesis 2:18-25)
Marriage is God’s foundation for all of society and it’s meant to work as a team, two people who love and serve God, together.
I’d allowed my hurt to dampen my love and mar my service both to my husband and to the Lord.
Allow Me to lead.
I’m a first born.
God has put me in many positions of leadership over the years, and I have a “can do” attitude about most of life; if I see a need, my first response is to try to fill it.
But that’s not following.
Just because I see what I perceived to be need doesn’t mean it is, nor does it automatically fall to my list of responsibilities.
I’ve learned, through some painful experiences, that I must wait upon the Lord for His direction not charge off on my own.
The root of my fears, which triggered my hurt were, in some degree, my reaction to “needs” which I was trying to fill in my own strength.
I had taken these things to the Lord, but sadly, I was failing at waiting upon Him for direction.
Praise God for His forgiveness!
I’m also extremely thankful to my husband for his forgiveness.
I’m not just full of gratitude for God using this to show me my heart, I’m expecting Him to continue to use it.
When I need to be chastised by the Lord, I know it’s for my best and with continued humility and remembrance an opportunity for future reference.
So, although this week has been a bit of a rough go, I know God will use it for good.
Proverbs 3:11 KJV — My son, despise not the chastening of the LORD; neither be weary of his correction:
Dear Lord Jesus,
Thank You for Your correction. Thank You for Your faithfulness throughout my error. Lord, thank You for helping me see the truth and for giving me Your perspective. Thank You for relieving my fears. Thank You for Your help in times of trouble. Lord, I know You are Sovereign and I worship Your holy name. You alone are worthy of all honor, all glory, all praise. I love You, Jesus. Thank You for first loving me. Amen.