Some days…

I need more.

This morning, I needed more thankfulness.

I woke up late, probably due to my asthma giving me trouble.

I’d neglected to open the house last night, to allow the cool evening air to circulate and cool down the house.

As I moved around trying to get the lamb’s bottle, make my husband’s coffee, and open the house, I found myself struggling.

(I have so much compassion for elderly people!)

Yet, as I did the required things, the Lord spoke to my heart.

Be thankful.

Yes!

“Lord, thank You for this beautiful day. Thank You for my husband, please be with him at work and help him in all he does.”

After feeding my lamb, I went to open the chicken coop.

The outside door had been difficult for me to open, so last weekend, my husband fixed it.

As I hooked it open I praised God for His blessings, specifically my husband and an easier chicken door.

My sluggishness began to return as I headed to water the garden.

Our hose is newer and often causes me trouble, this morning was no different.

I began to grumble in my heart and the Lord spoke again.

Be thankful.

“Yes, Lord. Please forgive me.”

“Lord, thank You for this hose, as difficult as it is, I am so glad I’m not carrying buckets of water.”

“Lord, thank You for Your provision, how You are making our garden grow. Thank You that even with the loss of so many plants, You have given us much. Lord, I lift up my day and thank You for Your blessings. You know what is in store, please help me to hear Your voice and trust in You completely, waiting upon You for direction.”

I setup the sprinkler, watering the corn, and heard my husband.

He was headed to work, but came out to kiss me goodbye.

We briefly talked and he left an image of his warm smile on my heart.

“Lord, thank You for my husband. I’m so blessed.”

By the time I returned to the house, my attitude had lifted greatly, the physical restrictions were no longer able to rob me of joy.

After all, God is good, His mercy endures forever, what, in this life, compares?

If I suffer, it is a reminder to pray, praise, and be thankful.

Psalm 30:12 KJV — To the end that my glory may sing praise to thee, and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give thanks unto thee for ever.

Dear Lord Jesus,

Thank You for Your patience with me, such a slow learner. Thank You for Your mercy and grace which never fail! Lord, thank You for reminding me to be thankful. It has been such a joy to turn all things back to an opportunity to praise You. For You are worthy of all honor and glory. Lord, thank You for supplying my needs, especially this week. You know I was not looking forward to our schedule, yet You have stepped in and carried us through. Lord Jesus, You know what is required for today and I rest in Your provision, trusting Your Sovereignty. Lord, please continue to remind me to be thankful, especially when I stray into self-pity. Guard my heart against the temptations of self focus and continue to teach me how to see as You do. Lord Jesus, I praise Your holy name! Amen.

Admitting need

It began rather early.

I woke before 6, not breathing well.

Often times, when I’m not breathing well in my sleep, I have upsetting dreams.

This was the case, so I actually didn’t notice how much I was struggling to breathe, because my emotions were all stirred up over the disturbing dream.

I spent a long time in prayer and with my Bible.

It was a bit later, as I was getting breakfast, when I realized my asthma was kicked up.

I’m certain it was the Lord, helping me to see myself realistically.

As the day wore on, it continued to be troublesome.

Later in the evening, I had an attack.

Anne is here, and was quick to get her Daddy, who set up my nebulizer for me.

The treatment worked and we were all thankful.

Today, I will be dependent upon my family, as I am exhausted from yesterday.

Yet, there’s so much joy in admitting my needs.

Because God has always known my limitations and when I choose to humble my heart, I can clearly see how much I need Him.

Whether I’m in good health or not.

He has always been faithful to supply all my needs.

Those times, when it felt as if something was lacking, were always points where I had stubbornly refused to surrender my ideas to Him.

It was never that He didn’t supply my needs, it was that He didn’t do it my way.

My own willfulness blinded me to His provision.

Thankfully, I’m learning.

Instead of starting the day off telling God what I’m going to do, I begin by asking Him what His plan is for me.

Thus, I can admit my limitations without fear, because I know He shall supply all.

1 John 1:9 KJV — If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Dear Lord Jesus,

Thank You for supplying all I need for salvation. Nothing on this earth is as lasting nor as needed. Lord, I thank You for Your faithfulness to me each day. Thank You for my family who are so loving and compassionate. Thank You for their gentle care for me. Lord, for those who are struggling with fear and need, please help them to look to You. Lord, show those who are in need what is required for peace, they must surrender themselves completely before You and accept Your gift of salvation. Nothing else matters like eternity. Thank You for Your love. Thank You for Your sacrifice that paid the price for all sin. Lord, please let me never cheapen nor slight the magnitude of that. Thank You for all Your wonderous works! Amen.

“Oh dear…”

It began with the box arriving.

We’ve been waiting for the bridesmaids’ dresses for a while.

It’s understandable that it takes time to make them, and then more time to ship.

As I took out each dress and hung them up, I thanked the Lord.

One step closer!

But hours later, Sis came over to try on her dress.

“Mom, I want you to see me in my dress.”

“Okay, give me a minute.”

I walked in and just stopped.

“Oh dear…”

“What can we do?”

Ordinarily, I’d be cheerfully trying to figure out how to tuck or alter it.

But I just stood there.

After a few moments, I walked over and tried feebly to pinch the sides or tuck it.

I really didn’t give it much effort.

I’m very far from a seamstress.

But I know enough about sewing to know there was no hope on this.

Sis had me take pictures and she texted them to a seamstress.

Afterwards she called and the verdict was final.

Return it.

There was nothing else to do, but search for a new dress.

Sis is eight months pregnant.

It was a bit daunting to even think about where we might find a dress that would match the wedding and allow for her growing baby bump.

I began to search the internet for nearby stores, while Sis called her husband to relate the turn of events.

He was as supportive as ever.

Sis then called the different numbers I’d found, in search of an opening.

(For those not versed in Bridal stores, they frown on walk-ins or refuse them completely.)

We were both surprised and pleased to find a store with an appointment at 4:30.

I texted my husband, to let him know.

Left instructions for the rest of the afternoon with Jase and Anne then hopped in Sis’s SUV.

I texted a friend asking for prayer for this.

The ladies at the store were very kind and understanding.

They went right to work trying to find something.

After about six dresses, I was feeling a bit concerned.

Our sweet grandbaby was getting tired of the store.

Nothing was really working.

And I knew I was going to be needing to head home before too much longer.

The next dress in the lineup caused me to look at it twice.

Sis looked at it and said, “Mom, that looks like it will fit you, not me.”

The lady in the store told us the dress size.

Our eyebrows shot up.

“Well, I guess I can try it.”

We were very glad she did.

Although she did try on others, she purchased that one.

Just as we were driving away, my phone buzzed.

My friend had texted me she was praying for us.

I smiled.

Texted her back.

God had answered.

Not only had He provided a dress, it was on major sale and she got it for just over half what she paid on the first one.

Praise God!

It’s details like this which point me back to Jesus.

My mind can’t even guess the odds of finding a dress which fits perfectly, allows room for baby bump to grow, looks lovely, matches the wedding colors and style, and was on Clearance.

“Praise God, Sis! This is a miracle!”

As always, if we trust in the Lord, He will sort out every detail.

No, it won’t always be what we think we want, but it will be exactly what we need.

Philippians 4:19 KJV — But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

Dear Lord Jesus,

Thank You for providing for us. Thank You for walking us through these things and guiding the details. Lord, I know You have all things in Your hands. Lord Jesus, please help me to continue to praise You no matter the circumstances. Please continue to teach me to rest in Your will for every detail of life. Thank You for this new family, our daughter and soon to be son-in-law. Please bless them, their marriage, and their ministry as a husband and wife. Thank You, for all of this, Jesus. Amen.

Doing without

It’s been weeks.

At first we didn’t realize what happened.

Anne had told me the oven had done something weird and scary. She’d turned it off.

The next day, without thinking, I asked Jase to make some banana bread.

Anne helped him and I told them I’d watch it once it was in the oven, so they could do outside things with Dad.

When the timer went off, something was obviously wrong.

There was a thick cooked crust on top and the rest was dough.

It took a while for me to figure out the top element in the oven was the only one working.

Of course we stopped using it.

Right after this I began running a fever..

We didn’t bother our landlord about it right away, since taking care of me was a full job.

When my husband did call the landlord, he told him not to bother calling anyone.

They couldn’t come anyway.

This week we heard from him. He had called a repair company.

After asking me all about the oven the kind lady from the repair company said, “I have some COVID questions. Has anyone in your house been sick with a fever or cough?”

After I answered that question and many follow-up questions she said, “Thank you for your honesty.”

“It’s no problem at all. People’s lives are far more important,” I replied.

We hung up and I informed our family the repairman wouldn’t be here till May 8.

No one was upset or surprised.

We all understand it’s important to be really careful right now.

Our family has had to do without many things over the years.

Our season of little or no water is one thing which has shaped our family.

Every now and then I’ll catch one of the kids slipping back into the things they learned in that time period.

Just last week, Bell looked at me and said, “I really need to wash some clothes, but I know you ran the dishwasher. When can I put in my laundry?”

I smiled, knowing she was concerned about possibly exhausting our water system and said, “It’s city water, now is fine.”

But as I think of doing without water, I thank God for my friend, she had her son come by at least once a week to pick up our soiled laundry and drop it back off clean. I thank God for our other friends who brought us water in their Water Truck, time after time. I know we didn’t pay for all the water they gave us.

I’m so thankful for so many people God has provided for us through.

In this time of doing without, I pray we find so much to be thankful for.

Yes, being in need is difficult.

It’s uncomfortable.

It’s scary.

But there was a season, many years ago when the only meal in our cabinets was oatmeal.

I remember standing in front of the cabinet and looking at how much was left and asking God to provide for us.

I wasn’t excited about only oatmeal for every meal.

But at the time, I was more concerned about running out and having our little ones go hungry.

We never did.

And not too much longer God provided and we were able to buy groceries again.

God provided in a different way when I was in need of a surgery.

It had taken months and two Emergency Room visits to find out that was the solution to my health problems.

Our medical bills were so numerous we couldn’t even think about paying them all.

A sweet lady from our church called me on her way to the store.

“Can I pick up some things for you?”

It was such a blessing as I couldn’t walk much less go shopping and we were very low on everything.

I thanked her and gave her my list.

She brought the groceries and wouldn’t take any payment.

After that she bought us groceries regularly.

And never let me pay her.

My memory is fuzzy from that time period, so I don’t even know how long she did it, but I was sick for months.

I have asked the Lord to bless her and her family in return, many times.

And I praise God for His provision.

All these seasons has taught our family that God is in control.

He knows exactly what we need and He will provide.

His ways are best and He knows what is best in every circumstance.

So, I really don’t mind doing without for a while.

I know there’s a lesson to be learned and my God to lean on.

And I praise Him!

He’s been with us no matter the need, from water to food, He has always provided and I know He always will.

Dear Lord Jesus,

Thank You for never leaving nor forsaking us. You are so good and so faithful. Please help us to keep our eyes upon You during this season of doing without. Please help us to be watchful for others we might help or encourage. Please guide and direct us. Let our hearts be molded by You in this. Thank You for Your faithfulness and love. Jesus, You are amazing! Thank You. Amen.