It was dark and cold.
I pushed a wheelbarrow in front of me, trying to contain the emotion which threatened to bubble over into a froth of rage and anguish.
My heart was so hurt and my mind kept screaming at the Lord, “Why?! Why are You letting this happen? This isn’t what I want…!”
And I hope I never forget what happened next.
Why are you angry?
The words were a whisper in my heart, but they blew away the self-absorption I’d been focus on.
I stopped filling the wheelbarrow with fire wood
Tears of surrender.
This was years ago, but the affect of seeing myself from God’s perspective has been a lasting one.
Because the truth of why I was outside in the dark and rain gathering firewood was me.
I hadn’t realized this, but it was because all I was seeing was my own needs, my own priorities, my own opinions on life.
But in that moment God showed me I was suffering due to my choices.
I had not surrendered anything before Him, instead I was trying to fix it, to manipulate or work harder to get what I thought was needed.
Instead, what was needed was for me to place it all in His hands and trust Him with the results.
How our lives have changed since that moment!
And I’m so glad.
Although, I’m still learning complete surrender, (I expect it’s a life long lesson in learning) I have found such peace.
No, I can’t say everything is always good, infact life had been hard and didn’t get easier, but I could live in the difficult with a completely different outlook.
And that is what complete surrender is about.
It’s living life unto Jesus Christ alone, without personal stipulations.
It’s a servant who lives for what their Master gives or tells each day, without concern as to the future or personal sacrifice.
When the master is Jesus, the service is a pleasure of daily learning and serving the greatest, gentlest, most caring Master of all time.
Every person serves a master of one sort or another.
It could be self, a job, a hobby, a status, an addiction, the list is long, but only one master is worthy of our service and He is such an incredible master.
Matthew 11:28+30 NKJV — “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”
Do you know why His yoke is light?
It’s because He carried it Himself, all the way to Calvary.
All we have to do is follow.
Complete surrender to Jesus is the best decision I’ve ever made and I plan on making everyday for the rest of my life.
I pray you have found freedom in this choice as well.
Dear Lord Jesus,
Thank You so much for salvation. Thank You for that moment in the woods which got ahold of my heart and taught me how I was struggling to do life on my terms. Thank You for setting me free from that and for showing me how much better it is to live in Your will. Thank You for speaking so clearly to me. Thank You for forgiving me for the years I tried to serve You “my way”. Lord, even now I realize it wouldn’t take much for me to slide backwards into doing things in my own strength. Please keep me from that. Please keep my feet firmly in Your will. Please keep pride far from me, that I might not sin against You. Lord Jesus, You alone are worthy of all praise, all honor, all glory, and I love You so much! Thank You for saving me. Thank You for first loving me. Amen.c