Beyond expectation

This morning I realized God has given me several things which have been beyond my expectations.

When our family moved from our house nestled in trees on the mountain to a rental in the suburbs, I couldn’t imagine what God was doing.

But He had made it clear this was His will and we walked into it with thanksgiving for His direction and provision.

One day, during my prayer time, the Lord asked me what I’d want if He were to give us a farm.

(Something I’ve wanted since I was a teen.)

At first I was hesitant, but the story of the king of Israel and Elisha came to mind. 2 Kings 13:18-19

He was hesitant in doing what the prophet told him and it cost him.

So, I began making my list before God.

When finished, I told the Lord, “This is all in Your hands, I don’t expect to receive anything.”

Then, I purposed not to think about it, but to enjoy the place we were, because I’ve fallen into the error of living in the future rather than being grateful for the present.

I completely forgot about that list until much later.

We were walking this property and I was praying for God to make it clear if we were supposed to move here.

He brought my list to mind and I was shocked.

Everything I’d asked for was here.

In that moment I knew God was confirming the move.

He knew what would be best for us and what desires He had placed in our hearts, therefore the list was simply a way for me to recognize those things and see them again when He showed us our new home.

Because moving here was a leap of faith.

Another thing that has been beyond my expectations is the fact that our family is in the process of adopting.

24 years ago, when our oldest daughter was in diapers my heart yearned to adopt.

I spent many a prayer time in tears seeking God’s face, asking Him to allow us to add to our family through adoption, heartbroken over the number of children in need.

Instead, He gave us four beautiful children.

I remember clearly the prayer time where the Lord asked me to give Him my desire to adopt children.

It wasn’t an easy thing for me, but I knew that the Lord is asking me to spend my time in prayer on something else.

He wanted me to give Him my desire until let it go completely.

That was many years ago.

Imagine my surprise when my husband emailed me from work with a link to a local adoption agency and suggesting we pray about adding to our family.

I honestly wasn’t sure if the Lord was giving me back the desire of my heart, until he confirmed it as I prayed by giving me several verses to stand on while we went through the process which bring me comfort while we wait to complete all the requirements.

This morning I experienced another surprise.

I opened my WordPress to see a notification of a new follower.

When I began this blog, several years ago, it was an act of faith and a step of obedience.

Although I enjoy writing, I do not see myself as a writer.

I remember telling the Lord that I wasn’t capable.

His reminded me that I don’t have to be capable or able, I simply have to obey.

The story of Moses and the burning bush came to mind.

Moses certainly didn’t feel able to do the task that God had raised him up to do, but he was the very man for the job and God used him mightily.

I love Moses’s reaction to all God did through him.

Numbers 12:3 NKJV — (Now the man Moses was very humble, more than all men who were on the face of the earth.)

I was humbled by a notification about this blog this morning.

Because I know that it is not my effort, but God’s blessing.

Obedience before God, whether it is in walking where He’s called or releasing things into His hands, is always best.

Only God knows how He is working all things together for good.

Dear Lord Jesus,

Thank You for the incredible number of blessings You have given me and my family. Thank You for the answers to prayer. Thank You for teaching me how to give up the things I desire and look only towards Your interests, walking in obedience, and learning how to surrender completely, each day. Lord Jesus, I do not deserve any credit for anything, for I know You are the one that has worked through this vessel. I know that You alone are the reason I am able to do anything. I know that all that I enjoy in my daily life is a gift from You whether it be food or family or a home or even worship. You are the author of it all and I understand that everything I think of as “mine” is actually Yours, including me. Thank You! You are worthy of all praise. I love You, Jesus Amen.

It’s raining

Which seems fitting.

In all our activities of packing yesterday evening, I forgot to water the garden.

Tim and Sis left before dawn to travel down.

Tim still has to work (he travels all over the state) and it’s easier for them to travel when the babe is sleeping.

All the wedding things were carefully packed into the trailer.

We double checked everything.

Today, I’ll be heading to Sis’s garden to cut the flowers she’s been growing.

I’ll head down early tomorrow morning.

My sister grew a lot of flowers for the wedding as well.

It’s nice that the gardens will get a good soak before I have to start chopping.

I know that a little rain might damage a few, but why worry?

Although our weeks and days have been filled with planning, changes, purchases, and working, none of this is what is important.

Pictures and decorations are all nice, but they are not the priority.

The truth is, the wedding is really a tiny moment on the timeline.

The priority of Saturday is the beginning of a marriage.

Marriage is a holy institution created by God from the beginning of man’s history.

It is the building block God chose to start all of society.

It’s where we find the future generation being nurtured or neglected.

A healthy marriage is a product of two people and God.

It takes all three for it to work exactly as God designed it.

As Mom, I want each of our children to enjoy a healthy marriage.

Of course, it’s not up to me.

But I have been and will continue to be praying for all of our children, those married, those yet to marry, and those about to be married.

I’m praying for them as individuals.

That they would seek God with their whole heart every single day.

Matthew 22:37-39 NKJV — Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’”

It’s the best way to walk in marriage; complete devotion to Jesus and loving others more than oneself.

And it’s reward is beyond anything this world has to offer.

Because this life is temporary, but life with Jesus is eternal.

Dear Lord Jesus,

Thank You for the rain. Thank You for the truth You are gracious and full of compassion, slow to anger and great in mercy. Thank You for being good to all. For supplying our daily needs. Thank You for numbering our days and knowing the plans You have for each one of us. Thank You for loving us more than we can ever imagine. Thank You for new beginnings. May our lives bring glory to Your name, Jesus. Amen.

Giving up the past

Plans for the future have been in motion.

It seems at the back of my thoughts pretty continually.

Our new grandson’s due date, our daughter’s marriage, all the details of homeschooling, all these things have been thought about, prayed for, and discussed multiple times.

As I was putting dishes away this morning I was complaining to God.

I hadn’t realized I was.

But that’s the truth.

I’ve found a thought running through my mind multiple times and it’s connected with a circumstance.

Something I’d wanted to keep had been given away without thought to ask my opinion.

When I discovered the truth, my feelings were hurt.

The choice was logical to the one.

The problem was me.

I had an emotional attachment due to a special memory.

Therefore, when I was putting away the dishes and telling God, “I really wish I had…it would be so useful for…”.

The Lord spoke.

Stop grieving over something I took away.

Och!

“Oh Lord! I’m so sorry!”

I took a breath.

“The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.”

“Jesus, thank You for showing me my error. I hadn’t realized I was holding on to that. I trust You, that what I have and where I am is exactly where I’m supposed to be and You will provide anything lacking.”

Now that my heart has been revealed, I can see how I have been clinging to this in such an unhealthy way.

What’s really crazy about it is, it’s something of no importance at all.

Yet, I can look at myself and see how I choose to hold on to the past through this.

Somewhere, I was trying to keep a moment of joy and bring it into today by a thing.

How ridiculous!

Jesus is the only One who can do that.

He brings joy into each day and no thing nor any other person can ever meet up with His ability.

It’s good to remember those things which were God’s blessing and to praise Him for it.

But it should never take the place of what He is doing today.

Jesus is blessing each of us, today.

Therefore, I will be more guarded about my thoughts and attitudes when it comes to the past.

I don’t want to clutter up today with needless things and miss the joy in Jesus.

For I know what He has for me in today is what is best.

Lamentations 3:22-23 NKJV — Through the LORD’s mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness.