Personally a hypocrite

“But we are sure that his religious difficulties never resulted in hypocrisy.” Les Miserables by Victor Hugo

This struck me almost as pointedly as the scriptures.

Luke 6:42 NKJV — “Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me remove the speck that is in your eye,’ when you yourself do not see the plank that is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck that is in your brother’s eye.”

It had been during prayer.

I was talking with the Lord about a past circumstance and suddenly the Lord asked me a question.

Who has hurt you the most?

The truth was clear.

“I have.”

My own sin has caused me the most suffering.

Then, respond to all other hurts with that in mind.

And with this my entire prayer focus turned.

It is so easy to look at another and see their blindness, prejudice, or sin.

To experience the pain of hypocrisy in another and recoil from the sting, bruised and battered.

Yet, the Bible is clear, our own sins are as black as anyone’s.

Humility says, “I’m a sinner, too” and stops talking.

Instead of recoiling, rejecting, or loudly renouncing another’s sin, what of prayer, forgiveness, and honesty?

Can we allow Christ’s love to enlarge our hearts and include those who have sinned against us?

What about a brother or sister?

Can we choose to continue in love, prayer, and encouragement even when the other seems calloused?

Matthew 18:21 NKJV — Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?”

Matthew 18:22 NKJV — Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.

Can we forgive seventy times seven?

If I have been hurt, I certain I have hurt others.

If Christ forgave me, He will forgive them.

Therefore, my heart must be willing to love, quick to forgive, and honestly humble, for we all stand stained by sin, in desperate need of a Savior.

John 15:12 KJV — This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.

It’s a command which takes every fiber of our choice to walk in every day of our lives, but it’s a command.

And He knows what is best for us.

John 15:13-14 NKJV — “Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. You are My friends if you do whatever I command you.”

Dear Lord Jesus,

Thank You so much for Your Word. Thank You for convicting me of my sin, that I might repent and see others more clearly, not tainted by the past. Lord, please help me to walk daily in this commandment. Please teach me how to be Your friend and how to love as You do. Lord, please help me to see myself clearly, remove the plank from my eye. Lord, I want to be real, honest, and humble, please help me to be. Thank You for Your Word. Thank You for Your patience. May my life reflect Yours, that Your name be glorified. Amen.

Grandbabies!

Her cardboard house was set up.

Her doll babies were out.

I sat nearby with her one month old brother in my arms.

I was burping him.

So, she began to burp her’s.

I grabbed my phone and couldn’t get a better picture than this, but it was a precious moment, none the less.

Next week our daughter returns to University.

I’m blessed to get to watch the kids a few times a week.

Grandbabies are so fun!

To look at our little granddaughter’s sweet smile and remember my own girls as wee people.

To listen to the cute baby noises of our grandson and remember the bundle of blanket which held our newborn son.

These gifts seem all the sweeter the second time around.

I love being a mother.

I love each of our precious children.

It’s compounded and multiplied when adding in grandbabies!

And it brings an even more precious memory to mind.

As much as I love these people, young and younger, God loves me even more.

Because His love is so much deeper, purer, and unmeasurable.

My sinful heart has major limitations, which hinders my ability to love as God does.

And yet He’s teaching me daily how to love more.

Grandbabies are easy to love.

Just one look at our grandchildren or children and my heart seems to expand.

Does God feel that way when He looks at me?

Romans 5:5 NKJV — Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God, for God is love. In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.
I John 4:7‭-‬11 NKJV

for the Father Himself loves you, because you have loved Me, and have believed that I came forth from God.
John 16:27 NKJV

Not only does He love me far beyond my understanding, the same is true for you.

What a blessing to be loved by God!

Dear Lord Jesus,

Thank You for Your love. Thank You for creating us and the universe we live in. Lord, thank You for sustaining me. Lord, thank You for our family and friends. I’m so blessed by so many people. Lord, I’m humbled by Your love and blessings. Please continue to reach those who have yet to know You. Please let nothing stand in the way of their hearts accepting Your love. Thank You for all You have done for me. I praise Your holy name. Amen.

God’s gifts

Psalm 111:4 KJV — He hath made his wonderful works to be remembered: the LORD is gracious and full of compassion.

I had not realized how much I had wanted to learn this.

Yet, in a conversation with our Bell I realized it might be another gift from God.

He’s blessed me in so many ways, it’s overwhelming.

Yet, I’m learning to simply say, “Thank You, Lord” and walk in whatever He has for me.

Whether I view it as a blessing or not.

This circumstance was definitely a blessing.

Bell bought me the crochet thread and I began on my first table runner.

It took longer than expected.

Yet, I was excited to make it.

Everyone liked it.

Bell encouraged me to try other patterns.

So, the Lord helped me find a YouTube video and I began making these Celtic Flowers.

Once I have enough, I’ll crochet them together.

Although they are more time consuming than I’d prefer, I’m definitely learning patience.

To make each stitch carefully and to be willing to rip it out when I have made a mistake.

After I finished my second table runner, Sis looked at me.

“Mom, I really have a new appreciation for all those doilies I’ve seen over the years.”

I smiled.

“Me too!”

And in this journey of learning something new, I’m trying to be aware of other things.

How many times have I just taken things for granted?

I know my asthma has taught me to be thankful for every breath.

My crocheting has taught me to be thankful for handmade items.

My health has taught me to be thankful for pain.

Without pain, I don’t know when something is wrong.

Without the understanding of my physical or spiritual needs, I’m not going to change my habits or actions or attitudes.

Of course, all these changes are made through Christ Jesus, who helps me learn self discipline.

And as these changes occur, I find life so much more a joy.

The closer I walk with Jesus, the more I learn how to abide in His peace, His joy, and His love.

I learn how to trust Him more.

I learn how to surrender more.

Galatians 2:20 KJV — I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.

Truly, God’s gifts are amazing!

…with Christ

I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. Galatians 2:20 NKJV

These words convicted me deeply.

They have returned over and over again, as a reminder of what my life is truly supposed to be.

“I have been crucified with Christ;” Gal. 2:20a

Meditate upon what crucified with Christ means.

My Lord and Savior chose to humble Himself to the point of allowing His own creation to beat Him, scourge Him, and crucify Him.

His words in the garden give us a guide.

Luke 22:42 NKJV — saying, “Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done.”

Jesus did as the Father told Him.

John 5:19 NKJV — Then Jesus answered and said to them, “Most assuredly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, but what He sees the Father do; for whatever He does, the Son also does in like manner.

As should I.

I no longer live, Christ lives in me, and my life should reflect that in every area.

Not in a ritualistic pride of false piety.

Nothing, but the humble love and devotion to Jesus Christ who loves me.

He loves each and every one.

“I live by faith in the Son…” Gal. 2:20b

Because life lived by works is again striving to do it on our own.

Salvation is a free gift and Jesus was the only One Who could pay such a costly price.

Therefore, my life is a daily practice of humbling myself before God.

Choosing to say, not my will but Thine.

Choosing to look to Jesus and remember His unfathomable love.

Choosing to walk in faith of which rests souly upon that unfathomable love.

Because anything else is a waste.

I don’t have it down yet.

I expect this to be a lifetime lesson of dieing daily, carrying my cross, and walking in faith with Christ Jesus.

Just that thought brings a smile to my lips.

What a glorious adventure!

To walk daily with Christ Jesus.

Dear Lord Jesus,

Thank You for Your sacrifice. Thank You for being our example in all things. Lord, I love that when questions arise I can always turn to You. When troubles come, I can find comfort in You. When life seems frightening, You are my Refuge and Strength. Jesus, You alone are worthy of all our praise. You alone are worthy of every honor. May Your name be glorified throughout the whole Earth!

Matthew

Matthew 9:9 NKJV — As Jesus passed on from there, He saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax office. And He said to him, “Follow Me.” So he arose and followed Him.

It seems so very simple.

Jesus calls.

Matthew follows.

But was it?

We know little about this tax collector, before Jesus called him.

The scriptures do not give us an account of how he became a tax collector, what choices led him to that despised profession.

We don’t know if Matthew was familiar with Jesus before He called him.

What we do know are his actions.

He followed.

No questions asked.

No, “Lord, let me first go and bury my father.” (Matthew 8:21)

“So he arose and followed Him.” Matthew 9:9b

Wow!

If Jesus were to show up at your job, look you in the eye and say, “follow Me” would you?

Although, Jesus has ascended into heaven, His call is just as real today as it was on the day He called Matthew.

Jesus’s call isn’t simply a call to another profession.

It was and still is a call to live completely for the glory of God.

A call to love as He loves, to live with eternity in mind, to fashion our choices, mindset, attitudes, and actions in line with the Bible.

What Matthew did that day eventually would change the world.

He followed Jesus.

Later, he wrote the Gospel of Matthew.

He never returned to the tax collector booth.

Praise God!

His faith in Jesus is truly astonishing.

His actions are a testimony to the power of God to change the lives of those who choose to follow Him.

This man who would have been hated and rejected by all he knew, was loved by Jesus.

Through that love, Matthew has become a respected mam throughout the body of Christ as one of the twelve and the hand which penned the Gospel bearing his name.

What an incredible change!

All because Jesus called.

And Matthew followed.

Blessing and lessons

Mother’s day tea!

It was so sweet and I was truly blessed.

It placed a beautiful memory in my heart.

The tea party was lovely and I was so thankful to God for my family.

As the day came to a close, I realized I needed to get by myself and pray.

There had been an underlying something bothering me.

It was an unsettling, almost fidgety emotion, but I couldn’t figure out what it was.

Before the Lord, it became clear.

This fidgety unsettling feeling was simply my old nemesis: fear.

Uhg!

Where did that creep in?!

Yet, I knew it had to be confessed and submitted to the Lord, rather than worried over.

So, I began, with the Lord, unraveling the balled up mess of fear.

One strand at a time, until I came to the center, hurt.

Something I thought was way back in my past and long since dealt with was the center of this.

My heart hurt and I had to confess this hurt and choose again to forgive, to place it in Jesus’s understanding hands, and to ask Him to fill my hurt with healing and love.

Because when I’m full of love for the ones who hurt me, then I’m no longer afraid the hurt will come again.

Crazy thing about this circumstance, I know it was not intended, nor were they ever aware of it.

Sometimes hurt happens, and just like someone accidentally dropping something on my foot, when they dropped something on my heart I can feel the pain and realize it wasn’t on purpose.

I can walk in forgiveness.

Which was the lesson for my evening.

Although, I didn’t really like having to deal with this sin (because fear of any person but God is sin) I was thankful the Lord showed it to me.

When I first began my “Good morning” chat with the Lord, He pointed out another sin.

My feet hadn’t hit the floor, I hadn’t really done more than roll over and greet the Lord, when He unveiled my heart to me.

This time it was discontent.

Uhg, uhg!

It didn’t take more than a moment for God to show me my error.

I immediately recognized my need to repent and return to a place of contentment.

Which I did.

My sorrow lingered, after all I don’t like having sin creep into my life.

It’s disgusting, it hinders my walk with the Lord and my family, it’s a cancer which eats away at my relationships.

I truly appreciate God’s mercy and grace in showing me my heart that I might turn away from sin and choose what is right.

How I long for the day when I no longer struggle in the mire of my own sin and can be completely at rest in Christ.

But I would not shorten my time God has given.

That too would be sin.

Instead, I must continue to learn humility before my Lord and my fellow man.

To keep my heart daily before God, that His light of truth and love may hone me.

Although it was uncomfortable, I feel so much peace now.

To look at my sin and repent, to be washed by Jesus’s love and forgiveness is so refreshing and beautiful.

I know Jesus will continue to walk with me into today and I’m so thankful He loves me enough to deal with my sin.

Praise the Lord!

Dear Lord Jesus,

Thank You for walking daily with me. Lord, thank You for dealing with both discontentment and fear in my heart. Please help me to place guards in my actions, my attitudes, and my activities that I might not slip back into either of these sins. Lord, if You would have me speak to someone in more detail so they might hold me accountable on these, I am willing. Lord, I want to live with a pure heart, and You alone are the only One who can create that in me. Please continue to polish my heart, no matter how uncomfortable it is. Thank You for all Your love, mercy, grace, and truth! You are incredible! Thank You for forgiving me. I love You, Jesus!

Living in love

I’m still working on one box, despite the months of living here.

It’s a process.

Last year with my illness and our house mess, my brain was just not able to tackle random paperwork.

Taxes, bills, and medical I had a system for and could deal with.

Everything else went into this box.

So, little by little I’m getting through it.

I found several Mother’s Day cards from my sweet husband today.

I knew exactly where to put them.

When we moved I had a package of really old notes he’d written me and a few photos.

I didn’t know where to put them at first.

Then it hit me.

I’m in love with my husband.

How would I have dealt with notes and photos when we first fell in love?

Top drawer of my dresser, bound with ribbon, of course!

So, why not do the same thing?

Just because we’ve been married for 22 years doesn’t mean I should stop living in love.

Infact, I should do it better than before.

I didn’t understand what love was. I just knew how I felt.

It’s through my walk with Jesus and His love, that I’ve learned how to love my husband.

Living in love looks different now than before.

But that doesn’t change the fact that I can live in love with my husband and my Jesus, every day.

Obviously, my health and our schedule can inhibit things, but the special little pleasures of first falling in love and being newly married can be remade into today.

Infact, it can be ever better than before.

Because I deeply love my husband and he loves me.

I ask the Lord regularly how to better love my husband.

How to cherish our marriage.

How to find new ways to be a blessing and a help to him.

Because it’s in the little things where love grows deep.

What things do I think about him?

Do my thoughts build him up or tear him down? Am I praying for him, especially in the areas which bring me concern or am I simply complaining?

How do I handle disappointment and disagreement?

Do I rest my expectations upon God or my spouse? Am I willing to be wrong or to let go of my way of doing something? Do I need to find a more creative way to express myself to help him understand me and my perspective?

Where do I find my value? My comfort and my stability?

If my life isn’t focused on Jesus and how He gives me value, stability, and love, I wouldn’t be able to love my husband correctly, or even well.

Love is a verb.

Which means I make a daily, purposeful choice to do it in any way God leads.

Because living in love is far more than the emotions.

And it’s value is priceless.

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.
I John 4:7 NKJV