Forgiveness and trust

Genesis 50:20 KJV — But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.

It’s one of the more astounding moments in scripture.

Joseph was born into a dysfunctional family.

His father was married twice, and both wives were jealous of the other, which caused no end of strife.

The first wife was unloved and the second wife was barren, until Joseph was finally born.

He, the son of Rachel, was dearly loved by his father.

By the time Joseph was old enough to be working with the family business, his brothers hated him.

It didn’t help that he turned in a poor report on some of them to his father.

To add fuel to the hatred, Joseph wasn’t as careful with his words as he could have been.

He had dreams of a future where he would lead the entire family.

He told them to his brothers and his father.

His brothers’ hatred grew.

There was no excuse for what they did to him, but it is very obvious how the discord in this family led to incredible evil.

Genesis 37:26-28NKJV — So Judah said to his brothers, “What profit is there if we kill our brother and conceal his blood? Come and let us sell him to the Ishmaelites, and let not our hand be upon him, for he is our brother and our flesh.” And his brothers listened. Then Midianite traders passed by; so the brothers pulled Joseph up and lifted him out of the pit, and sold him to the Ishmaelites for twenty shekels of silver. And they took Joseph to Egypt.

They sold their brother as a slave.

Life in Egypt was a rollercoaster for Joseph.

All of the years he was there God worked in his life.

Finally, he was promoted from life imprisonment to second in the kingdom.

God used him to save many people from starvation.

Including, his family, who had no idea that he was still alive.

The scriptures don’t tell us when Joseph forgave his brothers.

But it does show him responding to them with forgiveness and compassion.

Somewhere along the journey of his life, Joseph learned to forgive those who had hurt him and to trust God.

We know this by his words of comfort to his terrified brothers.

Genesis 50:20 KJV — But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.

Joseph wasn’t bitter, he didn’t seek revenge, because he could clearly see God had allowed the difficult, painful things in his life to bring about incredible good.

We can apply this to ourselves.

We must not allow bitterness to take root, we must forgive those who do us evil, trusting God to work through it.

Although we may not see how God uses the painful, difficult circumstances in our lives while walking through them, we can choose to cling to the truth: He will.

Many people throughout scripture walked through unjust, painful circumstances and God uses those things in their lives for good.

He hasn’t changed.

He’s still working.

Let us choose to both forgive others and to trust God.

Romans 8:28 KJV — And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

Dear Lord Jesus,

Thank You so much for Your Word. Lord, thank You for Your truth. Thank You for teaching us we must forgive, we must trust You. Please help me to walk in that truth, learning daily what it means in today. Lord, please return our hearts to wholeness, hearts of flesh which have been redeemed by Your sacrifice. Lord, great is Your faithfulness and greatly shall You be praised! Please continue to teach us each day, giving us life and truth through Your Word. Lord, please help us to be on our guard about the lies, discord, and strife of the enemy. Please help us to live trusting in You, loving others, and walking with integrity. Thank You for Your wonderous works! I praise Your holy name Lord Jesus! Amen.

Arguing

Like this picture, my perspective was a little skewed.

My husband had said, “Why do you do that? Why do you contradict everything I say?”

I nearly laughed when I responded with, “I don’t.”

He raised his eyebrows at me and smiled.

I apologized.

Although, I really didn’t feel I always contradicted my husband I did feels prick about it when I was praying.

If it’s important to my husband it should be important to me.

So, I asked the Lord to help me see when I was arguing with him.

Turns out, I do contradict him, often.

It’s not malicious nor was I really aware of it.

But there’s so many little moments when I was not careful with my words.

Yesterday we were Zooming a friend and I realized my “quick to listen and slow to speak” was backwards.

I’d been quick to speak and slow to listen.

Uhg.

Thankfully, both God and my husband are very patient and forgiving.

Today, I’m asking the Lord to continue to help me with this area.

First, that I see myself clearly and then that I am careful with my words.

Because words that build up are not words of contradiction.

Yes, there are times and places to stand for the truth when a lie is being pronounced as truth.

But between my husband and myself, there’s no reason for me to speak as I have.

I know if we have a conflict or misunderstanding the way to handle it is not before others, not with words that infer he is completely wrong, but instead with honesty, compassion, and love.

My contradicting him was simply a blindness to my own carelessness.

Frankly, I’d be embarrassed if it weren’t for my husband’s loving attitude.

Which in turn makes me want to deal with this poor behavior even more.

It’s wonderful how God has brought to light an area which was askew and is teaching me how to correct it.

Just another example of God’s love, His goodness, and His grace.

1 Peter 2:24 NKJV — who Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, having died to sins, might live for righteousness—by whose stripes you were healed.

I’m so thankful to God!

Dear Lord Jesus,

Thank You for Your Word. Thank You for showing me my error. Lord, please continue to teach me to guard my words, to be quick to listen and slow to speak. Lord, please continue to heal my perspective, that I might not sin against You or anyone else. Lord, my heart is glad You have broken through an area I was stubbornly refusing to see. Please let the words of David stand for me as well.

Psalm 69:5-6 NKJV — O God, You know my foolishness; And my sins are not hidden from You. Let not those who wait for You, O Lord GOD of hosts, be ashamed because of me; Let not those who seek You be confounded because of me, O God of Israel.

Lord, please do not allow my sins to hinder my family’s relationship with You. Instead, please use my errors to help my family avoid these things in their own life. Lord, I thank You for Your mercy and grace. I thank You for Your truth and patience. May Your name be glorified today. Amen.

True forgiveness

Jesus taught us to forgive.

Matthew 18:22 NKJV — Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.

He told a parable about forgiveness.

Matthew 18:22-35

His most incredible truth is He forgave, in the midst of suffering.

Luke 23:34 KJV — Then said Jesus, “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.

This true forgiveness didn’t end here.

Acts 7:59-60 NKJV — And they stoned Stephen as he was calling on God and saying, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.”
Then he knelt down and cried out with a loud voice, “Lord, do not charge them with this sin.” And when he had said this, he fell asleep.

Through Jesus, we are forgiven by God of our sin, our wrong, our trespass.

And Jesus showed with His very life we too are to forgive.

In the midst of the suffering, in the middle of the pain, we are to look not at the wrong-doer, but instead at Jesus, the Healer.

It isn’t easy.

It’s not a one time thing.

It is a way of life, a choice, and a beautiful daily gift, from God to us and from us to others.

Dear Lord Jesus,

Thank You for Your Word. Thank You for forgiveness. Lord, please help me to walk with You in all things. Please help me to live in true forgiveness each day. Lord, thank You for Your example in all things.

Luke 11:2-4NKJV — So He said to them, “When you pray, say: Our Father in heaven, Hallowed be Your name. Your kingdom come. Your will be done On earth as it is in heaven. Give us day by day our daily bread. And forgive us our sins, For we also forgive everyone who is indebted to us. And do not lead us into temptation, But deliver us from the evil one.”

For Thine is the kingdom and the glory forever. Amen.

Forgiveness in the midst

Did you ever notice when Jesus forgave those who were responsible for His death?

It was in the midst of His suffering.

Luke 23:34 KJV — Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.

This truth struck me this morning as I was praying.

Jesus is the believer’s example in all things and that includes forgiveness.

Thus, we should be quick to forgive, even in the midst of the pain, right in the middle of the wrong, we need to forgive.

What about those things which happened already?

Yes, we need to forgive those who hurt us in the past as well.

Because Christ Jesus forgave us, we must forgive others.

Acts 5:31 NKJV — “Him God has exalted to His right hand to be Prince and Savior, to give repentance to Israel and forgiveness of sins.

Dear Lord Jesus,

Thank You for Your forgiveness. Thank You for Your example, that You chose to forgive, even in the middle of the most horrific abuse You were experiencing. Thank You that it doesn’t matter how much we are hurt, it matters how much You are willing and able to heal the hurt. Lord, thank You for Your incredible sacrifice. Thank You for salvation. Amen.

Let all…

Ephesians 4:31 NKJV — Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.

“Let all …”

And His Word is clear, there’s no room for any.

None, nothing, not even a little bit, because He knows what is best and bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking are not.

Because bitterness is simply choosing not to forgive, holding someone accountable for wrong.

Wrath and anger are close cousins.

The Greek word wrath here means fierceness, indignation, wrath, while this Greek word for anger means anger, indignation, vengeance, wrath.

James 1:20 NKJV — for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

Ecclesiastes 7:9 NKJV — Do not hasten in your spirit to be angry, For anger rests in the bosom of fools.

Clamor and evil speaking seem to be occurring at a startlingly rate, anyone can observe it’s not godly.

Proverbs 29:22 NKJV — An angry man stirs up strife, And a furious man abounds in transgression.

Proverbs 10:18 KJV — He that hideth hatred with lying lips, and he that uttereth a slander, is a fool.

Instead of these things we are to put on different behaviors, ones that spring forth from a heart forgiven by and surrendered to Christ Jesus.

Ephesians 4:32 NKJV — And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.

Kindness and tenderhearted, priceless gifts to be given and to receive.

Luke 6:35 KJV — But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for He is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil.

Matthew 6:14 KJV — For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:

Following Jesus means forgiveness.

Acts 4:12 NKJV — “Nor is there salvation in any other, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved.”

For none gave more to forgive than He.

Hebrews 10:10 NKJV — By that will we have been sanctified through the offering of the body of Jesus Christ once for all.

Learning to walk in forgiveness is always an opportunity to trust God in everything and to grow, to stretch, to see life and others from His perspective.

Ephesians 5:1-2 NKJV — Therefore be imitators of God as dear children. And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma.

Dear Lord Jesus,

Thank You for these verses. Lord, I want to live a life of sacrifice unto You. I want my life to be pleasing before You, please help me to learn how, each day. Please help me to walk with You in all things. Lord, help me to understand Your truth and to hide it in my heart. Lord, show me my errors that I might repent and turn away from the things which would ensnare me. Lord, thank You for guiding me and loving me. Thank You for Your faithfulness, Your mercy, and Your grace. Amen.

What am I willing to give?

I was praying.

It was just the Lord and myself.

My heart was pouring out my emotion.

Grieving the loss of my daughter.

Yes, marriage is a gift from God.

Yes, I’m happy God is doing this.

No, this time I hadn’t walked the path of letting go yet.

What are you willing to give?

I knew.

God’s question centered me at the heart.

My pain was due to my refusal to accept reality.

She doesn’t belong to me.

She never has.

I love our children so deeply, sometimes I cling to them when I shouldn’t.

A memory surfaced.

At a little over a year old I had to grapple with the fear that she might be severely unwell.

In that season I had to learn to let go and give her to who she belongs to: God.

My thoughts turned to Job.

None knows grief like he.

And he said: “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, And naked shall I return there. The Lord  gave, and the Lord has taken away; Blessed be the name of the Lord .” In all this Job did not sin nor charge God with wrong.
Job 1:21‭-‬22 NKJV

“Lord, forgive me. I surrender all to You. Our children, my husband, our lives, everything.“

And the pain subsided.

“Lord Jesus, You alone are worthy of all praise.”

“Thank You for all Your gifts and blessings.”

I don’t know what today holds.

I don’t know what tomorrow brings.

But I do know Who is holding me.

Dear Lord Jesus,

Thank You for forgiving me of my selfishness. For my error in claiming something as mine which is actually Yours. Lord, I repent my mistake and my emotions from yesterday. Thank You for Your mercy. Thank You for helping me see correctly. You alone are the One who owns it all. I trust You with each step and each day. Thank You for again guiding my heart back to resting in You. Thank You for Your love. I love You, Jesus. Amen.

Blessing and lessons

Mother’s day tea!

It was so sweet and I was truly blessed.

It placed a beautiful memory in my heart.

The tea party was lovely and I was so thankful to God for my family.

As the day came to a close, I realized I needed to get by myself and pray.

There had been an underlying something bothering me.

It was an unsettling, almost fidgety emotion, but I couldn’t figure out what it was.

Before the Lord, it became clear.

This fidgety unsettling feeling was simply my old nemesis: fear.

Uhg!

Where did that creep in?!

Yet, I knew it had to be confessed and submitted to the Lord, rather than worried over.

So, I began, with the Lord, unraveling the balled up mess of fear.

One strand at a time, until I came to the center, hurt.

Something I thought was way back in my past and long since dealt with was the center of this.

My heart hurt and I had to confess this hurt and choose again to forgive, to place it in Jesus’s understanding hands, and to ask Him to fill my hurt with healing and love.

Because when I’m full of love for the ones who hurt me, then I’m no longer afraid the hurt will come again.

Crazy thing about this circumstance, I know it was not intended, nor were they ever aware of it.

Sometimes hurt happens, and just like someone accidentally dropping something on my foot, when they dropped something on my heart I can feel the pain and realize it wasn’t on purpose.

I can walk in forgiveness.

Which was the lesson for my evening.

Although, I didn’t really like having to deal with this sin (because fear of any person but God is sin) I was thankful the Lord showed it to me.

When I first began my “Good morning” chat with the Lord, He pointed out another sin.

My feet hadn’t hit the floor, I hadn’t really done more than roll over and greet the Lord, when He unveiled my heart to me.

This time it was discontent.

Uhg, uhg!

It didn’t take more than a moment for God to show me my error.

I immediately recognized my need to repent and return to a place of contentment.

Which I did.

My sorrow lingered, after all I don’t like having sin creep into my life.

It’s disgusting, it hinders my walk with the Lord and my family, it’s a cancer which eats away at my relationships.

I truly appreciate God’s mercy and grace in showing me my heart that I might turn away from sin and choose what is right.

How I long for the day when I no longer struggle in the mire of my own sin and can be completely at rest in Christ.

But I would not shorten my time God has given.

That too would be sin.

Instead, I must continue to learn humility before my Lord and my fellow man.

To keep my heart daily before God, that His light of truth and love may hone me.

Although it was uncomfortable, I feel so much peace now.

To look at my sin and repent, to be washed by Jesus’s love and forgiveness is so refreshing and beautiful.

I know Jesus will continue to walk with me into today and I’m so thankful He loves me enough to deal with my sin.

Praise the Lord!

Dear Lord Jesus,

Thank You for walking daily with me. Lord, thank You for dealing with both discontentment and fear in my heart. Please help me to place guards in my actions, my attitudes, and my activities that I might not slip back into either of these sins. Lord, if You would have me speak to someone in more detail so they might hold me accountable on these, I am willing. Lord, I want to live with a pure heart, and You alone are the only One who can create that in me. Please continue to polish my heart, no matter how uncomfortable it is. Thank You for all Your love, mercy, grace, and truth! You are incredible! Thank You for forgiving me. I love You, Jesus!

Pursue peace

My husband sent me this.

He knows my love of flowers.

And I know his love of this type of tree.

So, the picture was special to us both.

As much as we love each other, there’s always more to learn, more to polish.

Over the past week, the Lord has been using my husband to polish up a place in my heart which was dim.

The cloudiness of my inward sight was brought to my notice by the Lord’s light.

Something similar to a window covered in smudges and fingerprints which really goes unnoticed until the sun shines through it.

That’s what happened in my heart.

I know you might not believe me, but my husband does have a few little things which I find annoying.

Late last week I was grumbling to the Lord about one of those.

You’re complaining.

-sigh-

“Yes, Lord, I am. Please forgive me. I know You don’t want that. Help me, please.”

Pursue peace with all people.

God was bringing scripture to my remembrance.

Those words stood out to me: pursue peace.

“How do I do that in this case?”

How would you do it if it were a stranger?

“I’d simply serve them and love them anyway.”

I knew what God was showing me.

At some point in my past I’d believed a lie.

In this case it was couched in judgement: If he truly cared, he would do this small service instead of expecting me to do it.

Ouch!

Where did that ugly smear upon my heart come from?!

I didn’t have to look far.

I knew it was from the enemy and my selfish flesh, which doesn’t like to do that tiny service, found it so convenient.

Praise God for His mercy and forgiveness!

As I spent time with the Lord, my heart kept turning over the pursue peace with all people.

Do I choose to always work at building peace in every relationship?

Why had I always thought that verse applied only to the people not in my family?

Pursuing is not a half-hearted sometimes thing.

How far does this go?

How far did I go?

“All the way to the Cross.”

“Jesus, I have a long way to go. Please help me.”

I started by looking up the verse.

Hebrews 12:14 NKJV — Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord:

Then I began looking for opportunities to serve, not just my husband, but everyone in my family.

I may not get this right straight off and I’m certain it’s not going to be easy.

Yet, I’m so thankful to the Lord for cleaning off the smear.

Thankful for His polish, which is helping me to reflect Him even more.

I’m thankful for my husband and his imperfections.

Because through them, God is showing me mine.

We still need it.

Forgiveness.

It’s a complicated truth.

Christ paid for every sin on the cross.

Once and for all.

Yet, we need that forgiveness every single day.

It’s the moment when the words flying out of one person whittles the heart of the other.

Both need forgiveness.

One to give it and another to receive.

It’s the time, for whatever reason, one’s guard is down, and seconds reveal inquity.

Repentance and forgiveness are the answer.

Humbling oneself in the light of the truth.

It’s the way to love and trust, no matter the personal cost. A choice to forgive those around, because they themselves walk in daily forgiveness.

It’s what Jesus gives, every moment of every day.

Will you take it?

It’s a answer which must come from the individual.

When the choice is made, one must realize it’s not the kind of gift which is set in the corner to be forgotten.

With daily contact, one can find both incredible peace in their relationship with God, but also the overwhelming joy of passing it on to others.

We need forgiveness.

We need to forgive.

Because:

“Yes, not even becoming a Christian erases our imperfections. We still make mistakes–even dumb mistakes. But, thank God, forgiveness gives us hope.” Three Steps Forward, Two Steps Back by Charles R. Swindol

Let us follow the example given by Christ.

“Our Father in heaven, Hallowed be Your name. Your kingdom come. Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, As we forgive our debtors. And do not lead us into temptation, But deliver us from the evil one. For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.” Matt. 6:9b-13 emphasis mine

Balancing Act

Balancing life’s changes can be a full time job.

As our daughter and son-in-law are learning.

It’s still something I’m walking in.

Since returning home it has been a continuing effort.

And it’s not unusual.

Anytime we have had a major change it has taken me a while to feel balance with life’s needs.

Routines,

schedules,

appointments,

and priorities

are all new

and it takes time to sort them out.

As I lay awake this morning talking with the Lord about all, He reminded me it’s simply another part of the path.

How I handle the shuffling of life will reflect how I’m doing on the inside.

Yesterday it was a struggle.

As much as I wanted to just roll with things I wasn’t.

It ended with me needing to apologize for not speaking in a way that brought encouragement.

I hadn’t intended to harm with my words.

I thought I was being self controlled.

Yet it was clear the other person felt chewed up.

Uhg.

“I’m sorry I hurt your feelings. I really wasn’t trying to. I never intended to. Please forgive me.”

Which was granted by my gracious child, but I could still see hurt behind the smile.

-sigh-

So, I prayed and ask the Lord to forgive me and to heal the hurt I’d incurred.

And I went to bed realizing the whole thing had kept me from finishing up something I had as a priority.

And that is part of the balance.

Realizing that our family relationships will always take priority over any task.

Because people are so much more important than stuff, schedules or personal pleasure.

And the Lord is guiding us in each and every single circumstance if we take the time to listen.

Which is where I failed yesterday.

I spoke and didn’t listen to the soft gentle voice.

And I can learn from yesterday.

I can choose a better way.

Dear Jesus,

Please guide and direct my steps, my words, my actions. I do not want to cause pain. Please heal the hurt. Help me to start fresh today. Thank You for Your endless mercy and abounding grace.