Transparency

Job 13:15 KJV — Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him: but I will maintain mine own ways before him.

This statement from Job inspires me to be purposeful about trusting God, and like Job, to maintain my ways before Him.

Especially, when life seems be more challenging.

As I walk with Jesus, I feel it’s important to be transparent.

Yesterday, I was energetic.

Today, I’m not.

Yesterday, my health wasn’t an issue.

Today, it is.

When I got up this morning, the Lord reminded me that I’d forgotten to pay bills last week.

I feel so frustrated with myself when I forget to pay the bills, because it’s rude and unfair to those awaiting payment.

I was writing checks when one amount stood out.

It was a lot more than I remembered paying previously.

After a little investigation, I found out why.

I’d carefully filed last months bill, but hadn’t paid it.

It was our trash service and when I sent Jase out to put the bills in the mailbox he returned with yesterday’s mail.

There was one with red print on the front from the trash service.

The letter inside was very kind, letting us know that due to no payment for the past two months they would be skipping our service and if we still had not paid by next month would be coming to pick up our trash can.

Understandable.

I phoned the office, apologized for my negligence, and asked what week they’d skip.

Turns out my payment will reach their office before the scheduled week to suspend our service.

Therefore everything should be fine without any hindrance to us.

I thanked the lady and hung up.

In the past this circumstance would have engendered emotions of anger with myself, it would have tinted my whole day with a negative attitude.

But not today.

Instead I am praising God for His reminding me to pay the bills.

I’m grateful to Him for the graciousness of our trash company and that our service will not be interrupted, despite my negligence.

I’m thanking Him for some of the things that He is teaching me.

Including these times when I fail.

I’m also praying to see what I need to change in my day-to-day, so that I don’t forget to pay the bills next month.

I want this to be a mistake I learned from.

Because it’s already a mistake I’m praising God for.

Philippians 4:4 NKJV — Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!

Dear Lord Jesus,

Thank You for Your Word. Thank You for the truth that You are always worthy of praise. Lord, thank You for yesterday and all the abundant blessings. Thank You for today and the things I find challenging. Thank You for Your wisdom in and through each and every circumstance. Thank You for walking with me daily, guiding and directing. Lord, thank You for reminding me yesterday to purchase stamps so I’d have what I needed today. Lord Jesus, thank You for always being my Provider. Thank You for Your love and patience. I love You. Amen.

When things go flat

The Lord had a lesson for me this weekend.

It actually began when I thought I’d try to bake sourdough bread using a new recipe.

It was an utter failure.

I titled it “the worst bread I’ve ever made”and threw it away.

I decided to try again on Saturday.

Hubby and son were in town.

Anne was gone.

After some prayer and another recipe, I thought things were going smoothly.

We needed bread for the week, so I made a batch of French bread for our family.

Then, God allowed me another lesson.

Not only did the sourdough follow the poor traits of the “worst bread ever”, it happened to come out of the oven just before unexpectedly, our adult children arrived.

There it sat on the counter telling all of my failure.

Thankfully, God reminded me it’s important to simply be honest.

“What happened?!”

Came the same question as different people filtered through my kitchen.

“I don’t know. I followed the recipe exactly, but obviously something went wrong.”

Of course I just wanted to throw it out and stop answering questions.

But all those involved were curious and so we cut into it to find only the ends were eatable.

My son-in-law popped two pieces in the toaster and slathered butter on them and took a bite.

“It tastes good,” he said with an encouraging smile.

I tried to be encouraged, but was still struggling with disappointment.

Our church was having a spaghetti feed and everyone encouraged me to go with them.

“I’d love to, but I have bread rising.”

My batch of French bread was covered and sitting in pans on the other counter.

“We will take separate cars so you can come back early.”

By the time I needed to leave, our grandbabies were getting restless, so our daughter and son-in-law decided to return to the house as well.

I was surprised when the rest of our family returned before I got back in the house.

As we walked in I washed my hands and glanced at my pans.

I knew something was wrong.

Upon inspection, I realized my yeast must have gone bad, because everything was flat.

My husband tried to encourage me through a comment which I knew he meant to be “funny” and lighten the mood.

I glared at him across the room and began scooping the dough into the trash.

My heart was full of disappointment.

I had a dirty kitchen and no food to share.

My husband came over and hugged me and softly reminded me to enjoy the houseful of precious people.

God pricked my heart and I knew I didn’t want to allow my baking disaster to ruin the evening.

So, I worked at what I felt needed to be done and enjoyed my family.

The next morning at church the Lord used a line in a song to speak to me.

It reminded me of Scripture:

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.
Romans 8:28 NKJV

I really believe this is true and although I don’t know why the Lord allowed all my bread to be a failure, I know He’s going to use it.

The lesson for me was walking in faith of something trivial and choosing to believe in something momentous.

Because my faith in God is applicable to every circumstance, big and minuscule.

I can smile now when thinking about my failure, because I’m glad God used it to teach me.

Psalm 25:5 KJV — Lead me in thy truth, and teach me: for thou art the God of my salvation; on thee do I wait all the day.

Dear Lord Jesus,

Thank You for the lesson this weekend. Lord, thank You for Your unending care and tireless work on our behalf. Lord, Your ways are perfect and Your truth endures to every generation. Your Word is truth and we can find joy, security, and peace through Your salvation. Your promises are always true. Thank You, Jesus for Your love. Thank You for working everything together for good, for those who are called according to Your purposes. I love You. Thank You for first loving me. Amen.

(Incase you are wondering, the bread in the picture is sourdough, the third time it worked!)

When things just don’t…

Seem to work.

I crocheted, tore out, and crocheted more.

I’d put it down for a while and then come back to it. Sometimes a little break helps the brain.

Yet, it didn’t seem to work.

It wasn’t coming together.

“Lord, why is this so difficult? Why can’t I seem to figure out how to make it?”

– silence –

So, I kept at it.

Not really knowing what else to do.

My husband looked at it and said:

“Cow?”

“It’s supposed to be a sheep.”

“Oh. Well you could add some black spots to it. It would look more like a cow.”

“Thanks. But I’m trying to make a sheep.”

Eventually, I put the eyes on hoping somehow it would help.

Nope.

Didn’t help.

I went to bed fairly frustrated at my day’s work.

Why are you angry?

“Lord, I’m just trying to serve You. I thought You wanted me to make a sheep.”

Why are you disappointed?

“It just doesn’t look like a sheep to me.”

Does it really matter?

And I instantly remembered Jase’s Mr. Snuggly.

Many years ago we were at a movie theater and my son was blessed by a gentleman who had won two stuffed toys from one of those claw games.

He had walked straight over to us and asked if he could give Jase the toys.

One was a Mutant Ninja Turtle.

The other was a cute, something.

At home we all discussed what he might be.

We gave it up.

We could never agree on what animal he was.

That didn’t matter to Jase.

He loved Mr. Snuggly and is keeping it for his future children.

So, I can look at the sheep/cow and thank God.

I know even if it doesn’t seem to work like I wanted it to, it wasn’t a failure.

Failure is choosing not to try.

Failure would have been allowing the difficulty to rob me of finishing.

Failure would have been assuming that since it’s not coming together God must not want me to do this after all.

I know God allows me moments of struggle, seasons of difficult, times which require more, because it’s in these I grow stronger in Him.

When it comes together beautifully and easily I’m in danger of sliding into pride, thinking it’s all my own ability.

So, I can look on this moment of struggle and the weird stuffed animal it produced and praise God.

He’s reminding me that all my abilities are from Him.

He’s teaching me how to let go of my own ideals and surrender to His.

He has touched my heart in a way that has left me even more thankful for all the other projects which turned out well.

And who knows, maybe one of my grandchildren will love it.

No matter what becomes of this little animal, I know I can rest in God’s perfect will.

I’m happy to have something not seem to work if it’s another way for me to grow closer to Jesus.

What do you think? Sheep or cow?