She laughed…

But Sarah denied it, saying, “I did not laugh,” for she was afraid. And He said, “No, but you did laugh!” Genesis 18:15 NKJV

How this resonates with my heart!

How often have I done this very thing?

Denied my actions out of fear.

Denied the thoughts of my heart from shame.

And yet how futile, how ridiculous!

To tell God, “No, I didn’t!”.

The picture of a child looking up into my face after I called them out for their behavior flashes into my mind.

They can not accept the truth and therefore deny it: “No! I didn’t!”

And my response:

“I saw you.”

And the same it is when my wayward stubborn heart refuses God gentle voice in question, “Why…?”

Just like Sarah, my heart is foolish with fear and I deny the truth.

And just like with Sarah, God responds: “No, but you did…”

What a wonderful God we serve, that He loves us enough to patiently teach and hone our hearts.

Then He does the unexpected.

Now Abraham was one hundred years old when his son Isaac was born to him. And Sarah said, “God has made me laugh, and all who hear will laugh with me.”
Genesis 21:5‭-‬6 NKJV

The reason Sarah laughed in the first place was God had told Abraham that she would have a son.

Her heart couldn’t accept God’s promise at first and thus she laughed, because the idea was so far from expectation she found it funny.

But that didn’t hinder God.

And when this miracle happened Sarah laughed again, for pure joy.

Sarah had made a mistake in first not believing God and second in not admitting her doubt.

But God called her on it and then proceeded to follow through with His promise.

Although she made a mistake, she learned from it.

I want to be a woman like Sarah.

When God calls out my unbelief, I pray I remember this story and choose instead to humble myself before Him rather than deny the truth.

When God promises something, may my heart believe and not doubt.

I don’t want to be the child who denies the truth.

I want to be the child who learns from the past and walks with faith.

I want to be able to laugh with complete joy.

Psalm 119:73 KJV — JOD. Thy hands have made me and fashioned me: give me understanding, that I may learn thy commandments.

Dear Lord Jesus,

Thank You for the story of Sarah. Thank You for Your loving kindness and Your faithfulness. Lord, please continue to shine Your truth into my heart and mind. Let me learn from the past and teach me to be an obedient child of God, not wayward or headstrong. Lord, I want to laugh as I see the fulfillment of Your promises, even if those things take many years. Let me hold fast to integrity and to trust You completely. Thank You, Jesus for truth. Thank You for Your love. May the world be filled with the knowledge of You. Amen.

When things are unsettling

Recently, I received news which was unsettling.

It had come just the day after other unsettling news.

All of which snuffed out my expectations for the next few weeks.

It also led to prayer.

Prayer for others whose lives significantly have changed on very short notice.

My heart poured out to the Lord over this news for the majority of two days.

It was late afternoon, as I was again praying, that I realized my heart had not simply been praying more, I’d also been praising more.

With the emotion of instability had come a deep need to praise God through it all.

I realized God Himself was drawing me to the answers for all the requests.

Praise Him.

Just because I don’t know what the future holds, nor where the path leads, I do know the One Who does.

He’s got everything in His hands and I can praise Him while I wait.

Yes, it’s a temptation to try and plan, make guesses, look for possible options, prepare for…

But why?

It’s all fruitless.

Instead, my time is much better spent in praising God, waiting upon His direction, lifting up those He places on my heart, and doing the task at hand.

Infact, as I settled back into this routine, my unsettling emotions vanished like smoke in the wind.

All my emotions were wrapped in the assurance I have in Christ.

Then came the thoughts.

And I know they didn’t come from God.

Doubt began to whisper an entire string of “what if…”

At first, I didn’t recognize these as the voice of doubt and answered each one.

But gradually I began to see the direction the questions were trying to take my mind.

Which was when I stopped answering and started praising God afresh.

As if a light turned on, and the cock roaches flee, my soul returned to peace.

Doubt went scurrying.

What an incredible, awesome God!

He supplies all my need.

Even when I don’t realize it.

For the Lord is righteous, He loves righteousness; His countenance beholds the upright.
Psalms 11:7 NKJV

Dear Lord Jesus,
Thank You for walking with each and every one of us. Thank You for being our rock of refuge. Thank You for holding us when things are unsettling. Lord, we praise Your Holy name as we look to You in all these things. Every circumstance is used by You, for what the enemy meant for evil, You work into our good. Lord, we can not see nor understand all the things which go on, but we can hold fast to Your truths and Your Word. Lord, let our lives shine brightly the love of God. Let our hearts rest securely in Your love. Thank You for being our Salvation and our provision. Please let us bring glory to Your name, Jesus. Thank You.