Answering the tough questions

It was obvious something was on her mind.

So, instead of just ignoring it and going to bed, I asked what was wrong.

It took a little bit of conversation to uncover the issue.

“Mom, I just can’t deal with the possibility of you dieing. Not again, not right now.– Mom, I need you too much.”

Words can’t express the emotion we both were feeling at this juncture.

“Honey, you have to let go of me and cling to the Lord.”

“Mom, are we going to make it?”

This isn’t the kind of question you handle flippantly.

Because anyone who has lost a loved one knows, you are never the same after the loss.

Of course my heart hurts for my daughter.

Of all the things which have been difficult during this illness, watching my family watch me struggle has hurt most.

But God is so good!

He already had an answer ready for this really tough question.

“I don’t know what is going to happen. But God has all of our days in His hands. None of us knows when our last day is, but we can trust God. We can do the task at hand and worship and praise Him, for every day is a gift from God.”

“I want you to remember that heaven is a real place. And it’s incredible!”

Our conversation continued a short while longer, but it was obvious the question had been answered.

Sure, we will probably need to chat again, covering the same ground.

But that’s true for all of us.

No one is immune to fear, doubt, or worry.

But Jesus and His Holy Word are the cure.

I praise God for tough questions.

They give me the opportunity to pour into the lives of our children.

And I was blessed to be able to remind our daughter of something I’ve said many times.

“I don’t like the fact that you and your siblings have to walk through this with me and I know it must be scary and hard. I can’t help but think that God has a plan for this. He is going to use it in your life. Somehow He will use it, maybe to prepare you for the future He has for you.”

The same is true for all of us.

Whatever we are going through God can use it.

He can use it for His good in the lives of others.

Isaiah 61:3 NKJV — To console those who mourn in Zion, To give them beauty for ashes, The oil of joy for mourning, The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; That they may be called trees of righteousness, The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified.”

I don’t know what may occur.

But I want to bring glory to the Lord Jesus.

May He be glorified!

A Mighty Man of Valour

When our son was born a phrase jumped out at me from the Scriptures.

1 Chronicles 7:9 KJV — And the number of them, after their genealogy by their generations, heads of the house of their fathers, mighty men of valour, was twenty thousand and two hundred.

It’s actually used several times in Scripture.

1 Samuel 16:18 NKJV — Then one of the servants answered and said, “Look, I have seen a son of Jesse the Bethlehemite, who is skillful in playing, a mighty man of valor, a man of war, prudent in speech, and a handsome person; and the LORD is with him.”

David made mistakes, but he was the greatest King Israel ever had and more importantly, he was a man after God’s own heart.

So, I prayed this over our son.

“Lord, make him a Mighty Man of Valour.”

I don’t remember exactly when, but within the last year, I was praying that same thing for our son again and the Lord spoke.

Why don’t you pray this for your other son?

I was like Job.

Nothing to answer.

However, I began to add our son-in-law to my prayers in a new way.

I was praying for him regularly, but not in the same ways I was praying for our son, born into our family.

It was clear, I’d missed a step.

Marriage is just as much a joining the family as birth.

We were thrilled when our daughter married our son-in-law.

He’s a godly man, who truly loves all of us, and we love him.

And I praise God for him.

Infact, getting to live in his home with our daughter and baby was such a blessing.

He treated me as a cherished guest.

Sometimes, when I couldn’t leave my room, he’d bring me a plate of food and sit on the floor to chat while I ate.

There are so many thoughtful things he did for me while I was there.

He’s always willing to help in anyway he can.

He’s a humble guy too.

When I try to let him know how much I appreciate him, he simply points to Jesus.

Or he’ll say, “It’s all God.”

So why am I going on and on about him when I know he’d rather me not tell everyone what a blessing he is?

Today is his birthday.

And this is my small way of thanking God for adding this young man to our family as a son.

Because:

Psalm 127:3a NKJV — Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD,…

And I think that includes adult children who marry the ones born into our family.

Happy birthday, son!

May God richly bless you!

It’s about to begin!

She’s going to compete in her first college track meet!

I’m so excited.

And a tiny bit nervous.

To realize how God has walked her through everything to reach this moment.

My mind sifts through the past and my heart is filled with wonder.

When she was 13 months old, she stopped growing.

Babies are not supposed to do that.

So, we embarked on a scary journey of blood tests.

13 month old babies don’t like getting their blood drawn.

Everything came back normal and we discovered the issue was teeth.

She broke eight teeth, four molars and four eye teeth.

Then she went back to growing.

I think of the waiting room at the E.R..

We were waiting to find out if she had burst her spleen in a basketball game.

Then later that same season she busted her knee open, requiring stitches.

The final injury of that traumatic season was a concussion.

The moment in the doctor’s office when I realized I hadn’t handled her injury correctly.

I’d actually placed her in danger.

But, praise God, He held her and she recovered.

There are so many more memories.

One of my favorite is when she was seven.

We were working at the church and she’d noticed the sink full of dishes awaiting a washing.

Without comment, she found a stool.

My husband had walked past on his way to retrieve a needed item and found her busily washing dishes.

It wasn’t a one time thing either.

Sometimes after church service, we’d find her with the sweet lady who tidied up, busily washing dishes.

That same year, I was having a terrible day.

Nothing, was going right.

The house was a wreck, my homeschooling wasn’t a success, and it seems like we were expecting company.

That part of the memory is fuzzy.

What I remember clearly is my emotions, I was on the verge of bursting into tears.

She looked at me for a second or two.

Her dark eyes just reading mine.

Then she went to the hall, grabbed out the broom and went to work on the floors.

She never said a thing.

But I’ve never forgotten what her actions spoke so clearly.

Infact, spoken words have never been her thing.

It’s little wonder God is using her actions (she’s attending school on a track scholarship) to propel her into the future.

I’m so amazed at how God is working in her life today.

He’s brought up this beautiful young woman and is giving her a future and a hope.

I have no idea what to expect from the circumstances.

But I do know what to expect from the Lord.

Whatever His plans are for her,

it will be good!

Jeremiah 29:11 NKJV — For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Watercolor

I didn’t expect it.

It wasn’t really any plan of mine.

But one of the things which has changed with our move has been my way of homeschooling.

In prayer, I was asking the Lord how to bring in more enjoyable lessons so we would have a variety.

That’s when the Lord talked to me about Art and Science day.

We try to do it once a month.

We began with watercolor because it’s what I had on hand.

I wasn’t expecting it to be such a hit.

But I’m so glad it is.

Our Anne has been painting in her free time.

It has been such a joy to watch!

Saturday, I was able to purchase her some better brushes and watercolor paper.

Yesterday, we both enjoyed watching a video watercolor lesson and creating our own pictures.

It’s been a two fold blessing.

First and foremost, I’m thrilled to watch our daughter learn and enjoy something new, something creative, something she enjoys.

But I’ve also been surprised by God’s love and His understanding.

As a child all I wanted to do was art in school.

I loved it.

I would sign up for Art class any chance I got.

But adulthood pushed that joy of creating into other forms.

Holding a baby in one arm makes painting very difficult.

So, I’ve scrap booked, I’ve made my own cards, I’ve sewed, and sometimes I have drawn.

My best creative outlet has been crocheting.

Rarely, even when teaching my kids or a class have I painted.

But it’s been good.

These have been wonderful years and I wouldn’t exchange any of the things the Lord has brought into my life.

Yet, He has never forgotten my love of creating in this way, even though I had.

It’s just another beautiful example of how good, how loving God truly is.

Praise the Lord!

Another step

It had been a long day.

I’d heard from Anne a few times.

It was the first day of school and she was looking forward to seeing her teachers and the school secretary.

But what I had been unaware of was how she was feeling.

So when my husband called to inform me he was driving from work to pick her up I was surprised.

“She said her chest is really hurting and she’s taken her rescue inhaler a lot. It’s not helping. Should I get her to the Urgent Care?”

After more conversation we decided the best course of action required her relocation.

Tim and Sis had gone to a movie, so I texted them to get in touch with me when they were available.

Sis texted back right away asking what I needed.

After a brief explanation they responded promptly.

Despite the fact that Tim had to get up at 3am for work, they left the theater to meet my husband on his way up.

He too had to be up very early so it cut the three hour drive nearly in half.

When she arrived I gave her a breathing treatment and put her in bed.

The following day I watched her closely, spoke to the nurse at her doctor’s office, implemented her suggestions and prayed.

I was relieved by the end of the day.

By today’s end, my heart was encouraged by her progress.

She has an appointment next week and I’m hoping we can pin down all of the details on her health.

It’s just another step in the walk of life.

Sometimes I want to be frustrated and angry.

I want to feel sorry for myself and pout.

But those things are a waste.

They waste my efforts upon useless nonsense.

Instead my energy is much better used to praise God.

Praising Him for my husband, daughter, and son-in-law.

Praising God for the nurse who listened and gave me the right direction for her treatment.

Praising God for the provision of house, bed, food, medicine, and the physical energy to take care of our girl.

And it’s another step of faith.

Do I trust God in all things?

Will I choose to follow no matter how hard it gets?

Has my relationship with my Jesus more room to grow?

–Yes-

And since yes is the answer I can look forward without fear.

Because no matter what the day holds,

it’s simply another step

in the adventure.

Dear Lord Jesus,

Thank You for Your faithfulness. You know it’s been a temptation to look at the problem instead of at You. Please help me to keep my eyes focused upon You. Please continue to carry our family as we walk this path. Hold us in Your hands and let us look only to You. Please break in pieces anything which would hinder our relationship with You. Thank You for all the ways You are working through this walking.

Sissy

(This post was supposed to be published in March. Please forgive my neglect! I hope you enjoy it despite the date.)

Sissy

That’s one of the nicknames our oldest daughter goes by,

but it certainly isn’t because she is puny or weak.

She hunts, both with a gun and a bow.

She fishes; pond, lake, river, or ocean,

it matters not.
Our oldest girl has often amazed me with her physical abilities.
When younger she was not a stellar athlete but what she didn’t have in size she made up for in “try”.
She has worked her body for basketball all winter,
now that it is spring she is running to stay in shape for track.
Her abilities in sports jumped to a new level because of her “try”.
It can be said that she is strong,
But it is because she has strength of determination to do what is hard,
To practice,
To run,
To give up some things, that would keep her from attaining her goal.

When it was cold and raining she still went running.
She missed out on fun activities with the family to go to practice.
When word of praise came her way she pointed to others who helped her get there.
The one thing she still struggles with is enduring the comments of others.
How is it that someone who can excel in so many areas can be brought down by a single sentence?
Probably because the true strength of character that comes from a humble and quiet spirit is one she is still exercising.

She has forced herself to walk with strength and humility in her attitudes.
Just as her body must be beaten into submission by daily work-outs,
So she is still beating back her thoughts, words, and actions.
I admire her for her continued effort.
Even when it is difficult and she is discouraged she comes back at it,
Goes in for another lap around the track, another chance to forgive, another moment to apologize.
She is a special young woman and one I am proud of.
And not because I am the reason she is the beautiful young lady that lives with me,

but because I know I am not.

Her faith is what has caused her to be able to overcome the struggles, trials, temptations.
And I look forward to the future, to see how the strength she has girded herself with shall help her in adulthood.

“She girds herself with strength, and strengthens her arms.” 31:17

Happy 16th Birthday Sissy!