Humbled by His patience

Words escape me.

The Lord Jesus is so faithful.

And I don’t deserve it.

Infact,

I doubt Him.

I argue.

I struggle.

Yet, He’s so faithful, loving, and forgiving.

Not long ago I wrote about a project: a prayer book.

It wasn’t all smooth sailing.

Yet, when the package finally arrived last week,

I choked back tears.

Which my son quickly admonished me,

“No crying, Mom!”

Both of my children couldn’t understand what would possibly be upsetting me.

“Mom, it’s great! I really like it. I’m sure they will love it!”

Anne did her best to cheer me.

I couldn’t explain at the moment.

My emotions were not disappointment in the finished product.

It was embarrassment in my doubting the Lord.

He had told me to do it.

He gave me the words and the creativity to craft it.

He provided the funds to purchase it.

I’d been doubtful, and fearful in the beginning.

Expectant and excited in the process.

Then frustrated and impatient in the end.

Now, I was humbled.

My heart poured out my thanks and regret.

I’m proud of you.

“Lord! I’m truly sorry for not walking with more trust and peace through this process. Please forgive me for my times of doubt and my moments of worry.”

You obeyed Me.

And that was enough.

I’m truly humbled by His working through me.

I’m amazed by His generous grace and mercy.

And He gave me a double portion:

A prayer book for this dear family adding a sweet baby to their lives,

and another opportunity for me to learn.

Because obedience is better than sacrifice.

Praise the Lord!

He knows every detail…

I was so blessed to get both the baby shower gift and our nephew’s birthday present finished in time!

God truly had every detail of these projects in His hands.

I didn’t realize just how much so, until the phone rang.

Asthma had kept me at home, so I wasn’t able to be there when my sister-in-law opened her gift.

However, she blessed me so much with a phone call after all the work of cleaning up the shower and then getting home and unpacking.

I’m sure she was super tired, but she called me anyway.

She wanted me to know how special the gift was to her.

Her grandmother had always knitted and crocheted things for the family.

She explained that the very same pattern I used on the baby’s sweater was one she remembers her Grandmother using in clothes for her.

It had really touched her heart.

It did mine too.

I only recently learned that specific crochet stitch and I was quite nervous about trying it on a gift.

Yet, I couldn’t get away from the fact that God wanted me to use that specific one.

Of course, He knew it would bless her.

Only God can work through such details.

Only God could have known what would bless my sister-in-law.

I’m so thankful He choose to use me to bless her.

He truly is in everything!

Even the details.

Praise the Lord!

A lesson in perspective

Saturday, I had been putting something in my calendar and had a bit of a shock.

My sister-in-law’s shower is coming up.

“Oh no! Lord, I don’t have anything made for her. What am I going to make in the amount of time I have with my other projects unfinished?”

It’s incredible the gentle way He handles my heart.

Make a sweater,hat, and bag. And don’t worry, you have lots of time.

Because my brain spouts questions and doubting without the slightest hindrance, I responded:

“But Lord, I can’t possibly get all that done. I have these other things I have to do first. To do all that I’d need to stop my other projects.”

It’s alright. I will lead you.

All my concern melted.

“Yes, Lord. I’m sorry for being afraid.”

Later in the day I was busy working on a surprise for our granddaughter, my son-in-law walked in followed by the rest of the family.

Anne quietly removed the gift in progress.

Because I’m always crocheting when not doing anything else, I grabbed out some soft yarn and began working on the sweater.

It’s nearly finished.

It would have been done yesterday, but one piece has been super difficult.

I had to rip it out and restart three times.

The last time was this morning before church.

I couldn’t understand why it was giving me so much trouble.

My prayers turned to inquiry.

“God, why isn’t this working? You told me to make this. What am I doing wrong?”

Little one, you are trying to tackle this like an enemy to be overcome. I gave this to you to enjoy. It’s about the process and the finished result being a blessing. It’s not a challenge to conquer.

I had to apologise.

He’s taught me this lesson before.

There is fun in the doing.

He doesn’t want me to create just as a duty, but as a joy.

If it were only about getting a gift, I could buy something.

It’s so much more.

It’s about praying for the baby who will wear it.

It’s about loving the Creator who created both this baby and me.

It’s about learning more about Jesus as I create.

After all, the care and effort and joy I have in making something pales compared to His in making each of us.

And it’s an opportunity.

Creating something with the abilities God has taught me is a way to praise Him.

And I never want to miss that.

I’m hopeful that I’ll be able to finish it today.

But even if I don’t, I’m going to enjoy the process, not just the finished result.

Because life is so much deeper than the doing, the accomplished.

Life is truly about relationship.

I’m so thankful for my relationship with my Lord Jesus.

How amazing He is!

The gift of prayer

One of the pictures we took today.

Ever since the wonderful news was given, I’ve been praying.

When they told me that they were expecting a baby, all I could do was hug her and cry.

This has been a long awaited child.

We are all thrilled.

My prayers have been for the pregnancy, the health of both, and the blessings of God.

Each child is so unique.

Every single one a miracle.

All children need love, training, boundaries, and so much more.

With such incredible blessing there is equally important responsibility.

The weight of such can be overwhelming when your arms cradle your first child.

Yet, it is a wonderful weight.

It brings knowledge and understanding that on our own we could mess up badly this small life.

But through Jesus, we can find all the answers.

He gave us a wonderful guide book, the Bible.

And He is right there, to walk through it all.

These and many other things have been in my prayers for this family who are adding this long desired child to their home.

When I was praying for wisdom on what I should make this new little one, the Lord spoke clearly to my heart.

A book of prayers.

At first I felt a bit confused.

“You want me to write a book of prayers?”

Add pictures.

I knew exactly what the Lord was asking me to do.

Honestly, I had doubts.

How long will this take?

Where is my camera?

Do I have energy to add another project to my day?

Trust Me.

Walking in faith, I got up to look for my camera.

My kids were curious as to what I was doing, but once explained, they joined in to help.

I was surprised at how quickly we were able to take pictures.

I was stunned at how fast the layouts were completed.

I’ve been working on it all day, whenever homeschool would allow.

I’m not sure when it will be ready, but I’m trusting God it will be in time for the baby shower.

Honestly, I’m humbled by God’s love and mercy.

I’d never have even attempted such a thing, if He had not spoken to my heart.

And now I can hardly wait to see it completed.

What a pleasure to give the gift of prayer.

Both in act and in words.

Praise the Lord!