Adjusting

I took a photo of where I was thinking about putting our garden the last time I was at our new house and it wasn’t raining.

I didn’t take pictures of the inside, because I figured I’d get those after we move.

Which we still have yet to do.

Why?

Well, because God showed us things.

A consultation, concerning our kitchen, with our son-in-law, who is a contractor, made it obvious we needed to gut the kitchen.

I wasn’t excited, at least not immediately.

The Lord was so gracious and showed me He was providing, He also helped me trust Him with the unexpected and it’s turned into a wonderful blessing.

Handsome and I were able to discuss all the necessary changes and make decisions without any trouble.

We haven’t had a single argument or disagreement throughout.

Distance and my health kept me from being able to go pick out cabinets, so our daughter and son-in-law went and did the initial layout.

A few days later I was able to travel down and put the final touches on the plans.

My heart was so blessed that our daughter knows me so well.

She picked out everything I liked.

When I commented on that, she just smiled and said we have similar tastes, so it was easy.

That blessed my heart.

I traveled down yesterday and got to walk through the bare rooms.

The new paint looks wonderful and I’m really looking forward to being able to live there.

We only had one moment of concern.

When I walked into our bedroom my chest began to feel a little tight.

My husband was watching closely and asked me to walk into the attached bathroom.

It felt strange and I knew it was my body reacting to a trigger.

Thankfully, I felt better the moment I was out of the room and the door closed behind me.

“I was afraid of that,” Handsome said.

Then he explained he’d been smelling something and was worried it was going to bother me.

He went on to explain he would remove the cabinets and tear out the linoleum to see where the smell was coming from.

As I drove back to our rented house he called me.

“It’s only in one area, but I found mold under the flooring and we will have to replace the subfloor and part of the wall.”

I took a deep breath.

“Praise the Lord, you found it now.”

Because I am allergic to mold, we have been concerned about making sure the house was mold-free.

Although, finding something else which needs to be fixed isn’t fun, it’s important we adjust to God’s direction.

For He is answering our prayers by showing us in advance what needs to be taken care of.

As I focus on the tasks at hand, I am praising God for His faithfulness.

Yes, sometimes I have to work at being patient.

Sometimes, I have to spend extra time in prayer, asking God to help each one of us to be centered on Him, as I await each of the details which are required before we can move.

I’m not a patient person and I’m learning to adjust my wants and desires to align with God’s timing.

It has also been an opportunity to praise Him more.

Although waiting isn’t easy, it’s very important.

Rushing ahead of God or trying to force circumstances into my desires are both a refusal to wait on God and it’s a lack of trust.

I’ve done both those things and it wasn’t good nor did it help anyone.

I don’t want to live like that.

Thus, I’m thanking God for this time and season.

It’s another opportunity to learn a wonderful character trait: patience.

Psalm 123:2 KJV — Behold, as the eyes of servants look unto the hand of their masters, and as the eyes of a maiden unto the hand of her mistress; so our eyes wait upon the LORD our God, until that he have mercy upon us.

Dear Lord Jesus,

Thank You for another opportunity to learn to wait upon You. Lord, thank You for Your patience with me, I’m a slow learner. Lord, thank You for Your faithfulness, Your understanding, Your love. Lord, thank You for showing us what needs to be done each day and for sustaining us. Lord, thank You for walking us through this season of adjustment. May our lives glorify You. I love You, Lord! Amen.

Change

It’s part of the process.

And the process is an important part of becoming more like Jesus.

I was reminded of that yesterday.

There was a lot on our schedule.

A few extra things got thrown in.

While at the doctor’s office I was writing about how God uses trials even though I rarely see that side of it.

I had only seen the discomfort of so much new.

My view had been focused on the long lists of “to do”.

I’d been looking at the new places, where everything is unfamiliar or yet to be learned.

It was God showing me how His circumstances of change have been a blessing to our family.

Not an hour later I was driving to pick Anne up when Jase and I were protected from an automobile accident.

My mug, full of hot freshly brewed tea, went all over the passenger seat.

At first I wanted to be upset.

But that gentle voice reminded me of the truth.

We didn’t get hit!

Instead of speaking the words, which lept to my tongue, I was able to change.

“Well, praise the Lord! I’m so glad God kept us safe from that wreck!”

Jase from the backseat asked me what happened.

I explained.

Then I was able to praise God even more.

“Buddy, I’m so glad you sat in the back seat like I asked. I know you didn’t want to, but because you were willing to trade your seat to your sister you didn’t get burned by my tea!”

His reply was a happy one.

I’m not sure if that moment meant as much to him as it does to me, but I’m trusting God to use it.

This year has taught me that God can and will use life to hone us, even the kids.

I know He has a perfect plan for each of them.

He has a unique calling on each of their lives.

When He created them, He placed exactly what would be best inside each.

He guides and directs their lives and circumstances to hone them as children and young adults to prepare them for that calling.

And all these things are part of His wonderful plan.

It’s a blessing to experience areas that stretch and challenge us.

Lately, life has been so full of change I’ve been blind to the blessings in each one.

Until an appointment at the doctor’s office caused me to pause and reflect.

What an incredible blessing to see God work through another change.

Dear Lord Jesus,

Thank You for all the opportunities to stretch us. Please continue to help us look at challenges, changes, and trials as opportunities. Thank You for loving us so much that You give us what is best, even if we don’t first recognize it as such. May our lives bring glory and honor to Your name.

Sunday’s surprise

It was early, but not too early.

I had been awake for awhile when my phone began ringing.

To my surprise and delight it was Bell.

Where they currently are they have to find a cafe to use WIFI so I’d not expected to hear from them.

Yet there they sat, in a cafe, video chatting.

Then I received several beautiful pictures.

A number of which brought tears to my eyes because I recognized the areas.

It was such a pleasure to hear from our daughter and to see where they were.

Later the same morning I thought it would be nice to video chat our other daughter.

Since I had heard she was alone due to my husband being called into work.

To my surprise and joy she answered and behind her stood my husband.

He had already returned from work and they were both able to chat.

As the morning wore on I got ready for church and made sure Jase was ready.

We all piled into the car and arrived at church.

We walked in and took up a short row.

The pastor began announcements and I was surprised.

My chest had tightened and was giving me all the wrong signals.

I got up and went to the Ladies’ Room in hopes of getting some relief.

After taking my rescue inhaler twice I impatiently waited for relief.

It didn’t come.

The sound of women’s heal clicks alerted me to the presence of some one else, which frankly caused me some stress.

I’ve learned the average person has no idea what an asthma attack looks like nor what to do.

Instead they get worried or embarrassed.

To my relief it was our oldest daughter checking on me.

It didn’t take long to decide she should drive me back to the house.

Jase came too, as he was concerned.

Sis dropped us off to return to church with Tim and their sweet baby.

As we went inside I patted Jase.

“Don’t worry, we will have church at home with Jesus.”

He got a snack and I found a sermon on YouTube and we listened to Alister Begg.

It was titled Anxiety.

I thought it was extremely fitting.

When the sermon closed my heart was surprised again at the warmth of comfort and the growth of peace.

My day had been full of surprise, some good and others less than appealing.

Yet through each I could clearly see the Lord’s care and guidance.

None of these things surprised Him.

And although I have no idea what is next, I can walk forward free from anxiety.

Sunday’s surprises taught me that.

Dear Lord Jesus,

Thank You for Your constant and continued love for me and all of mankind. I am astonished by how You work everything together for the good of those who love You and are called according to Your purpose. Thank You for the reminder to shun stress and live without anxiety. How great are Your ways. How much higher and better than anything I am able to truly comprehend.

Something dead

Nope, I’m not adding a picture of something dead to the post.

I refuse.

Actually I would have, but the “something dead” was eaten and I hadn’t thought to take a picture at 4 am.

So, instead you get something living!

But the morning’s arrival really didn’t bother me too much.

I’ve lived in the country most of my life.

Which I’m very thankful for.

Yet there are always things which are less than enjoyable no matter where you live.

So when my hubby called me out of bed to tell me there was “something dead” on the front porch I wasn’t shocked.

We have two cats and I was actually glad to hear one of them was doing their job.

I normally only see them sitting on the porch railing.

Mew, mew, mewing to be fed.

I don’t mind feeding them, but I do not appreciate it when they are lazy and don’t catch mice or moles or other ground varmints.

So the dead critter on the front porch was evidence of good.

-smile-

Like me yesterday.

With all the changes we need to make my flower beds need to be moved.

It’s not the best time to move many of them.

As I dug plants up yesterday I was well aware of the chances I was taking.

“Lord, after all the expectation I had for my flowers this year, this is hard.”

I dug and replanted more.

Since I’m still working on building back my strength I have to take many breaks.

On one I was looking at the destruction all around me.

Our out-building which partially collapsed in the snow, our house which looks awful where the deck used to be, the trees limbs and branches everywhere.

Then down at the beds I’m digging up.

My expectations of a beautiful yard are dead.

“Lord, no matter what dies or is destroyed or how hard it is to look at, I trust You.”

With letting expectation die I’m allowing the Lord to grow me.

As much as I love flowers they are not as important as my walk.

Because none of this stuff is permanent.

Our house, our yard, our cars, our property, nothing material is going to last forever.

Only Jesus is.

He is eternal and my soul is eternal and my relationship with Jesus is.

And He’s promised me a home in heaven.

What flower, building or landscape can rival that!

E.R.

I didn’t know when I left this room I’d not be coming back.

When I return, it will be completely changed.

At least that’s the plan for now.

We’ve endured so many changes I’m learning to say, “That’s the current plan, if nothing changes.”

With the snow and power outages we’ve been running our propane heater, propane stove, and woodstove.

Wednesday morning our roof had so much snow my husband called in to say he would be late so he could sweep off the snow.

When he was on the roof he said he kept trying to figure out what he was smelling.

Then he realized it was the propane from our bedroom heater.

I was laying in bed because my chest had been acting up.

By the time he came down to turn off the heater I was having an attack.

I had tried moving rooms, I’d taken my inhaler more than once, I was thinking about staying calm and getting control of my breathing.

Yet I wasn’t.

My husband did everything possible to change the environment so I could breathe.

Minutes pass.

We reached the 15 minute mark and no improvement.

He loaded me and the kids in the truck and we headed for town.

The E.R. was loaded with people.

I tried to help my husband answer the medical questions, but if you can’t breathe you can’t talk.

(So I’m going to have my medical history in writing in my purse for the future.)

Upon reaching a room things happened quickly.

Before I knew it I had been changed, hooked up to monitors, given an IV, questioned, x-rayed, and then being treated with a breathing mask.

And my first full breath in over an hour was so refreshing!

I was so thankful for each person who was working so hard to help me.

I had seen all the people in the waiting room and then more in the back.

I knew they were working nonstop to help those like myself.

After a while the doctor explained now that my breathing was normal I was able to be released.

My husband explained his plans for me.

“Honey, you’re not going back home. I’ve gotten a hold of Tim and Sis. You’re going to stay with them till the power comes back on. After that you’re going to move in with John and Jan. They live close enough to the school and our house you can see the kids everyday. They don’t have pets or anything else which should cause you any more asthma attacks. I’m going to start working on getting our house gutted and redone so you won’t keep having all these health issues. ”

And by dinner time I was sitting down at my daughter’s table and thanking God for His blessings.

It’s been a whirl of change.

Yet I’ve been able to smile throughout.

Praising God for all His provisions.

How awesome He truly is!

Adjustments

Well, if you recognize this room from other posts you’ll know it’s the ER.

This was Friday morning.

Friday night was our first game of the season.

And our Anne was in the ER getting her arm x-rayed.

I waited to hear what my heart was already dreading.

cracked.

Her arm was broken and her season is on hold.

This is her Freshman year and I had been looking forward to watching both our girls play high school ball together.

And it may still happen.

It just won’t be when I expected.

As I prepared to go to the game I kept having to check my emotions.

I felt horrible about Anne’s arm.

I knew God was still working, but I couldn’t get past feeling bad.

Sis had come by to work on homework so she was there as I was trying to get past the sad.

She looked at me as I washed dishes.

“Mom, you’re not crying are you?”

“Well, let’s say I’m trying not to.”

“Are you that upset over her arm?”

I stopped for a moment and realized it wasn’t just her arm, it was her disappointment at missing the game and possibly the season. It was the irritation of the circumstances which had changed our plan so drastically. It was my own frustration of being completely unable to fix it.

“Well…if your daughter broke her arm wouldn’t you be sad?”

“Since you put it that way, yes.”

I had to get those words out to realize it’s okay to feel sad.

She’s going to be fine, but as a parent it’s understandable that I’d feel down about my daughter being hurt.

It actually made me feel better.

As a mom I’m supposed to love my kids and want them to be healthy and well.

Yet life happens and I need to make wise choices even when my emotions are less than thrilled.

So I chose to be honest about all I was feeling and then asked the Lord to help restore my attitude into one of support and encouragement.

And He did.

Whenever I need an adjustment He’s always ready and able to point me in the right direction.

It turns out Anne isn’t devastated about not being able to play.

Coach let her ride on the bus and film the game, and it was fun.

She’s not enjoying every aspect of this, but she making the most of it.

How awesome is our God!

He can take anything  (even a broken arm) and use it for good.

I’m looking forward to seeing what He’s going to do next.