Honestly…

The Lord is so forgiving and His love is incredible.

I’ve made many mistakes throughout my life and I’m certain I’ll make more.

It’s not easy to be open and honest with others, but it’s vital to our walk with the Lord that we live that way.

This week has been a struggle for me and although there’s multiple reasons, the main one is my health.

My doctor is putting me on a new medication for my asthma and sending me to a specialist because we don’t know why I’m losing my voice.

I don’t want to go and after all the different inhalers, I don’t want to try yet another one.

But my life is not my own, I belong to Jesus and if this is part of His plan for me, I will follow.

Because my emotions don’t make my decisions, but it’s important for me to be honest.

During my twenties, the Lord taught me that honesty is a gift.

Because to be honest and open about myself and my life was an opportunity to trust Him.

I thought I had the art of facade down to a fine science, but sin finally caught up with me in a way I couldn’t hide.

My boyfriend and I had good intentions, but to be honest we had very few boundaries save “waiting till marriage”.

So, my “good Christian” image was shattered and my shock staggering when I discovered I was pregnant at twenty.

(I was as good about lieing to myself as to others.)

We quickly got married and the next several months I had to learn to trust God when people asked “How far along are you?”, “How long have you been married?”.

Because it would have been easy to lie, but that would be wrong.

After the Lord showed me the truth of myself and my sin, I was determined to change.

Being honest about our sin and our repentance was a wonderful gift.

It was the beginning of healing for me, my husband, and our individual relationships with the Lord.

And the Lord wasn’t finished with teaching me about honesty.

Through our twenties we had three more children, and a lot of loss.

A month after we celebrated our first year of marriage my father died in an accident.

For the next four years someone we loved passed away, whether friend or family, some years it was both.

I actually began to feel fear every time the phone rang at a weird hour, because the thought, “Who will we loss now?” would run through my mind.

I’d never walked through grief before the death of my father and as I walked through those years of loss my heart was learning more about trust.

Yet, during it all God showed me what He can do through a life surrendered to Him and willing to be open and honest.

He started with cleaning out my heart’s rebellion against His law.

(There’s a reason He tells us not to sin, it hurts us and leads to death.)

As He was doing this, He gave me opportunities to testify of His forgiveness for my rebellion and how He was restoring those things broken by sin.

(My facade as a good Christian disappeared and He began teaching me what a true follower of Christ was.)

My honesty about my past granted me courage to be honest in the present.

I didn’t always do it correctly, but I was learning.

When I stopped trying to live according to my ideas of what was best and started applying the Word of God to my life I learned I could live in His ways and be honest about my daily struggles.

His honesty about who He is and what He requires is true, it works, and His plans for my life are good.

He is daily teaching me, so my walk with Him is authentic.

1 Corinthians 6:9-11NKJV — Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God.

Dear Lord Jesus,

Thank You for Your Word. Thank You for Your truth which guides and directs me. Lord Jesus, thank You for teaching me to trust You, not to live a life fearful of my neighbor and their opinions. Lord, thank You for being completely honest about Your love and the consequences of sin. Thank You for dieing on the cross to pay the price for my sin, that we might have everlasting life through Your name. Lord Jesus, thank You that I can find great joy and peace in walking in Your Word and be honest about the day-to-day struggles. More than anything, Lord I want to live for You and to bring glory to Your name. I love You, Jesus. Amen.