Said my husband.
He smiled that smile which has always brought a flutter to my heart.
And walked away.
We’d been discussing options.
Chatting again returned to our current circumstances.
“I still have no idea what God is doing through all this, or why we are here,” I said.
He didn’t miss a beat.
His calmness was infectious.
“I don’t worry about all that.”
“Because I believe in the Sovereignty of God.”
And he’s so right.
I too believe in the Sovereignty of God.
I just don’t always remember.
At times I try to put the puzzle pieces together, to find out what the big picture looks like.
But I fail.
I have no idea what all of this is.
Other than an opportunity to stretch, grow, learn, and trust.
Most of this week I’ve found times to look at the change in circumstances and just say, “God, I trust You.”
None of these things were huge, just daily opportunities to trust.
Last night was another opportunity to lean on the Sovereignty of God.
I went to sleep easily.
Feeling very tired.
But staying asleep wasn’t a thing.
By 2 a.m. I was wide awake.
The Lord spoke clearly about some circumstances I’ve been praying for.
He put some people on my heart and I lifted them up.
In the quiet, darkness, His voice of correction could easily point out my heart’s sin, so I could repent and find freedom in His forgiveness.
As the early morning hours passed I began to feel anxious.
“What about church?”
You will not be going.
I knew I had a choice.
Trust the Sovereignty of God or argue.
My husband’s words came back so clearly, and they bolstered my heart so I replied.
“I’m disappointed, but I know You know best.”
Not long after this my husband woke.
“Honey, you been awake every time I have woke, what’s going on?”
I explained that I just couldn’t sleep.
We decided to get something to eat and return to bed for a while.
This time, I slept.
Infact, I slept really well.
Noise normally wakes me.
But I didn’t hear my family eat breakfast or leave for church.
I did call my husband and they were nearly there.
“I changed the TV, so you can watch your favorite pastor.”
And I shall.
With breakfast and Jesus, I shall enjoy Sunday morning service at home.
Because I trust the Sovereignty of God.