It’s been a difficult week for the most part.
Circumstances required me to drive South and back on Saturday.
It was a good trip.
I was blessed to spend time with my mother and some other friends.
Since then I’ve been struggling.
My health is still such that I can get worn down easily.
I was thankful to attend church Sunday, but I spent most of the day in bed.
Monday I was able to complete my needed tasks, but it was by God’s grace alone.
Tuesday the kids insisted on my returning to bed.
Wednesday I spent part of the afternoon in bed.
Finally, yesterday, I was able to go all day without needing to just quit.
I was moving very slowly and had many breaks, but I was thrilled to be able to function all day long.
And it was yesterday morning when I realized what had happened.
My week had been a struggle due to my attitude, not my health.
I’d been frustrated and forcing everything.
Because my health was fighting me, I thought I had to fight everything else.
As I woke to greet another day my emotions were jumbled up with doubts and fears.
When I was striving to do what I thought was needed, I had stopped leaning on the Lord’s help.
The answer to my struggle was in prayer.
My prayer time had been slowly converting to almost totally prayer for others.
These last few weeks, it’s happened very gradually, I’ve spent more and more time just praying for others.
Nothing wrong with that.
Yet, my communion with Jesus had become so focused on the needs of those around me that my relationship with Jesus was starving.
When this truth hit me, I made a choice.
No matter what my schedule, I’m spending some time with Jesus, just talking with Him, time to hear from Him.
And my day was so much better for it.
No matter how my body is functioning, if my heart is solid on Jesus, if I’ve heard from Him, then my day is better.
As always, scripture has blessed me this morning:
“Direct my steps by Your word,
And let no iniquity have dominion over me.
Redeem me from the oppression of man,
That I may keep Your precepts.
Make Your face shine upon Your servant,
And teach me Your statues.”
Dear Lord Jesus,
Thank You for reminding me of what is truly important. No matter my schedule or my health I never want to neglect time just with You. Please continue to help me learn Your Word and hide it in my heart that I might not fall into sin. Please continue to hone my character and help me to love like You do. Thank You for Your faithfulness. How great and awesome You truly are!