It was such a blessing.
A sweet lady from our body had come to visit me.
She asked about the kids and what they were doing.
She asked about the teddy bear I was crocheting.
She inquired after other things.
Then she asked about my health.
Which frankly, hasn’t been good.
I explained the diagnosis and how our house has something which seems to aggravate my condition.
I even mentioned the possibility of my staying with Tim and Sis for a while to get away from the house.
She was so full of compassion.
Her heart was in her eyes as she asked what she could do.
“Pray, we just want to know exactly what God wants us to do,” I replied.
“Can you leave it all on the alter?”
It surprised me, but I understood.
Then I continued on to explain all the good God has brought through this.
I told her so many things I’ve learned walking in this.
And I’m certain there’s more to glean.
When I was very sick in 2011, I learned a lot, and it was worth it.
I remember a person, after hearing all our family went through in that period, commenting:
“Well, praise the Lord He got you through it all, but I bet you hope He never takes you through something like that again.”
I had smiled and shook my head.
“No, I am so much closer to the Lord through this. I’m willing to walk through anything, He can break my arm if it means growing even closer. Whatever He wants to do is fine by me.”
And here I am.
Not with the same thing and not to the extreme that was, but nonetheless ill.
And I don’t know what other people feel or think, I can only account for my thoughts and emotions.
But I’ve accepted a few things.
I want to be healthy again.
But I’m okay if I am not.
I want to live and do things and serve others.
But if my time is short or my path different than I want, it’s God Who knows what is best.
Nothing on this earth is worth me holding too tightly to,
even my life.
The only true treasures are eternal.
And through it all I want to praise Him.
He deserves every praise, honor, and worship.
He deserves my gratitude with every breath.
I don’t always like the circumstances, especially when my physical body is struggling a lot, but there is always something to praise Him for.
The longer I walk with Jesus the more I understand this verse:
“Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him:” Job 13:15 a
No one, besides Jesus, lost more than Job.
Yet he never leaves his God.
And I agree with Job.
I will trust Jesus, no matter the cost.
And as I lay awake with a migraine I can praise Him.
He has done so much for me.
He has blessed me in so many ways.
His love overwhelms me.
His faithfulness astounds me.
Why would I choose anything other than praise?
I don’t know what you are walking through. I don’t know what pain, trauma, or hurt which has scarred you. But I can say from my own experience that nothing I have tried to do on my own terms has brought me joy and peace like total surrender to Jesus Christ. I’m going to reach out to you and encourage you to lay everything at the cross. Dreams, ideas, opinions, even opportunities, nothing can bring the peace that passes all understanding, only total surrender. If you would like prayer, I’d love to pray for you. Even now as I hit the publish button it will be with prayer. So, please feel free to contact me. May God richly bless and encourage you.