Underneath

We’ve known there were issues.

We’ve been praying about God’s will.

We’ve sought out advice from others.

Yesterday it was time to act.

My hubby cut off the deck and removed the skirting.

We needed to know what was underneath it all.

To put it simply,

it’s not good.

We were talking again this morning about the best way to handle the underneath.

Some things he found were expected and others were not.

So I’m praying again.

What is God’s will?

What would He have us do?

To top it off I’m sick today.

Not with asthma or allergies.

For some reason I spent the night being sick to my stomach.

As I laid in bed this morning, unable to attend church again, I found myself questioning the Lord.

“Why Lord? Why did You have us move to this place when there have been so many things wrong with it?”

“Why allow us to purchase this property when You knew there was so many unseen issues?”

“All we want our home to be is a place of joy and peace.”

Then my body reminded me I’m sick.

And I began again.

“Lord, why?”

“I’m finally having more good days than bad ones with my asthma and now I’m throwing up?”

“Did I eat something I shouldn’t have?”

“Am I forgetting to focus on You?”

“Why are You allowing me to suffer more?”

As the questions die the silence filled in.

Then so softly,

Do you trust Me?

Am I not God?

Can you really see the end or what work I am doing?

-sigh-

“Lord, forgive my questions. I don’t need to know why. I trust You and I know You are good, therefore there is good even in this.”

Then I smiled.

God knows best.-

There is no way around this truth.

He knows exactly what He is doing and He will continue to work all the bad, evil, ugly into good, righteous, beautiful.

And as I lay here I can praise Him.

I can trust Him.

He is worthy.

Why?

Because the disciples couldn’t see salvation for mankind’s sin as Jesus suffered torment, torture, and excruciating death.

But Jesus did.

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