Journeying

chronic illness

I was stunned.

The words leapt off the page.

Since you have been diagnosed with a chronic illness, asthma, we are here to help…

When did I suddenly leap from healthy to chronically ill?

Do I get to leap back?

What does it all mean?

How does it affect my future, my family, my job?

Praise God for my husband.

He stepped in at this juncture and gently reminded me it’s not as bad as it sounds.

I’m not alone.

Even in this God’s hand will guide.

-pause-

He’s right.

Life isn’t about healthy or unhealthy.

It’s about journeying towards Jesus.

The older I get the more I realize this path is simply a daily opportunity.

Because if I didn’t know where I’m going, heaven, I might get confused and think the path is all there is.

But Jesus saved me from my sins long ago and because of that I can journey.

I find myself,

in those moments of discouragement

wondering

if I’ll ever be well again.

I have to be honest and say, “I don’t know, but I want to be.”

And with my next breath I have learned to say, “Jesus, I trust You, I love you, even if I’m not. Thank You for this, for in it I have learned You are sovereign.”

-peace-

There is such blessed peace with that trust and thankfulness.

And it doesn’t end there.

God has blessed me in so many ways.

The list is so very long.

Things like being able to make a new blanket for our coming grandchild, being able to read the Bible together as a family (our goal is to read through in a year), times of heart-to-heart talks, even personal growth in our children because I can’t take care of our daily needs, prayer time growing, the loving acts and words of others, even new relationships with our local pharmacist and lab technician,…

In these things there is so much.

I can truly thank God.

He didn’t make me sick, but He is using it for His glory.

More to come…

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