I’m choosing that word instead of the one which keeps coming to mind:
So, I’ll have to back up almost a week to give you the full story.
My sweetheart put up a garden fence so the dogs won’t eat my tomatoes.
( I know, I know. I live in deer country and one would think the veggies get nibbled by them. Nope. Our dogs keep them out of the back yard, however they LOVE tomatoes and I barely got any last year. )
I needed a support for my peas which my hubby simply placed by screwing two wood pieces from the main fence to stabilize the post.
I was thrilled!
The next day I was bent over and carefully tending some seedlings near my peas.
I moved along slowly making sure not to harm them or the pea seedlings on my right.
Then it happened.
I took a step while standing up.
Before I realized what had happened I was clutching the top of my head.
I had unwisely walked underneath the support post and when standing up to leave I struck it, hard.
My head was sensitive for the rest of the day.
I laughed at myself and tried not to think about it more than necessary.
The following afternoon I was in the garden with our Anne.
Several times I warned her about not hitting her head.
Told her my head still hurt.
Explained how I’d grown careless which led to the pain.
She was very sweet and listened carefully.
Each time she was over near the peas she was paying attention and avoiding the cross beam.
Then it happened.
I had carefully given her some instructions.
I had just finished with my last chore and went to plant some lettuce.
Just after finishing the lettuce I somehow stood up directly underneath the exact same cross bar.
This time I hit the ground before I realized what I had done.
My head throbbed and I struggled to get out of the garden to where I could sit down.
Since our daughter had gone out of the garden to do what I asked she found me clutching my head and wobbling toward the house when she came back.
Upon hearing what I had done she replied, “But Mom! You were just warning me not to do that…?”
“Yes! I know.”
The day ended with me going to bed early from a severe headache.
The next day one of my students prayed for me at lunch time, because my head still hurt.
That was Wednesday and today is Monday.
I was in the utility room moving laundry from the washer to the dryer.
We have a tiny space and our stackable washer/dryer are invaluable!
I noticed I had dropped a sock when transferring the wet laundry.
I bent over to get it, stood up and…
I hit the top of my head on the dryer door I’d left open to receive the sock.
That’s when the word came.
How in the world can I possibly hit my head so often? Can’t I think before acting? What is the matter with me?!
I texted my hubby that I would be laying down for a bit on account of my own carelessness.
As I tried to get over my frustration with myself I heard the Lord softly speak to my heart.
I can’t go back and undo the damage.
But I can be humble and move forward to change the danger.
The cross beam in the garden has two ropes to keep me or anyone else from being able to stand up underneath it.
The dryer door will soon have a guard to hold it open and out of the way.
What kind of work do I need to do inside my character?
Was it pride which caused me to warn and instruct our daughter to a danger I was too busy to pay attention to for myself?
Was it my own selfish motives which drove me to hurry in a few garden tasks when I should have been inside cooking dinner?
Was it poor organization which found me trying to rush through switching laundry, because my thoughts were on the company coming tonight?
I can’t go backwards, but I can be humble and see the areas God is using my folly to teach me character.
Thank You for loving me and not allowing me to hurt myself worse than I already have. Please continue to help me see the areas which need honing so I can avoid carelessness in the future. Thank You that even in moments where I’m embarrassed You can turn it to an opportunity. Let Your name be glorified Lord Jesus!