This is our house.
And I love it!
Yesterday, I realized something.
I never wanted to look at it much less buy it.
And yet I love it.
I don’t believe I could be happier in a home than I am in this one.
Why didn’t I listen to my husband when he first showed me the photos of it on the website?
Because I am a stubborn and very opinionated person, and the little house in the picture was completely opposite what I decided would make us happy.
I wanted a big 4 bedroom farm house, where I could decorate it in the country fashion and we’d be able to raise animals and a garden and an orchard.
Instead God knew we needed a little house with no fence but lots of trees.
A place near our school and easy to keep up.
A place where we could do without raising animals for now but where our kids could run through the trees and live outdoors.
A place with imperfections which He has used to teach us patience, trust, and a new way to love.
A place where I can have more flowers than I’ve ever had before and more opportunity to simply make a place to enjoy and relax instead of work.
A place where healing comes through times of quiet reflection and prayer and comfort in eachother.
Yet I didn’t listen to my husband when he asked me to look at this house.
I didn’t listen when he showed me the benefits of the property.
Instead I dug my heals in and crossed my arms and basically said I’d do it but I wouldn’t be happy.
To think I understood our needs better.
To think I was more in touch with the Lord.
To think that I couldn’t be happy because I wasn’t getting my way.
Of course all of this is in reflection.
I wouldn’t have owned any of those things at the time.
How often do I stand in God’s way when He’s trying to bless me just because I don’t think it’s what I need?
How many times do I have to be wrong before I will trust my husband with leading our family?
How long will I have to fight my own desires, preferences, and will to trust God has it all together?
Probably a lifetime.
But hopefully never in the same way twice.
The older I get the more I want to learn to not beat myself up over mistakes but to learn from each one a lesson to pass on.
I thank God for His patience with me.
I kissed my husband, thanked Him for our wonderful home and again apologized for refusing to trust him.
And I can smile.
Because with each mistake,
I’m learning to listen.