Inside

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Our home is surrounded by beautiful trees of differing kinds and sizes.

It was one of the things which caused my husband to want to purchase the property.

During these few years of caring for our  yard and home,
the trees at times have been a source of extra work.

Not long after we first moved a rainy wind storm caused debris from our trees to coat the ground with branches.

Other times we have worked at the annual event of dealing with large amounts of leaves.

This weekend we had to make a difficult decision.

One of our trees in the front had been acting sick.

Large branches were falling every Autumn and the gentleman who sold us the property related it had been looking sick even when he owned it.

Reluctantly my husband, with the help of our neighbor cut it down.

He was surprised.

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Although we knew it was unhealthy, it hadn’t occured to us it was rotting.

There was a sizeable amount of decay running through the trunk.

And later,
much later God used the same picture of rotting to deal with me.

Long ago I learned people are created to be able to walk through life and difficulty by leaning on God and letting Him heal the hurt.

Bitterness
Fear
Guilt
Selfishness
Anger
Self pity
Pride

Can all stand in the way of healing.

Each keeps the Lord at a distance.

Refusing to be tended by His grace, mercy, love, trust, forgiveness, humility, thankfulness, leads to rot.

I am as fragile as the next person and at times my feelings become wounded.

Normally by words spoken or action taken which in no way we’re intended to harm.

Understanding this, 
I often spend time in prayer,
working out the root of the hurt,
seeking healing from my Father.

When the truth of what was inside the tree came into view,
the Lord spoke to my heart.

“I always know the truth of what is on the inside,
and child we need to talk about the hurt and fear in your own heart. ”

So we did.

I’m fighting a good deal of fear as I prepare to go back to college in an effort to earn a Bachelor degree.

My feelings have been hurt by miscommunication and the fact that I expect those around me to care as much about the things I deem important as I do.

Once again I wasn’t trusting my Father as I should and I was feeling sorry for myself.

Repenting of the sin,
seeking comfort in the Word,
resting in His perfect will,
and walking in faith,
all equals allowing Jesus to remove that which would be decay to my soul and erode my very character.

It’s easy to write about and difficult to walk.

Yet the stump in the center of my front yard will be a reminder to allow healing.

For He sees what is on the inside.

Inside me,
I want to be whole,
healthy,
and
full of life.

Therefore, I must be honest about what’s on the inside.

Allow the Lord to heal me,
while shunning
those things
which cause
rot.

Praise God I don’t have to tackle it alone.

He’s always ready to guide and comfort and heal.

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