It is a strange thing and something I will never truly understand.

But it happens every day and for me it has been a part of my life since I became an adult.

When I had been married just over a year my father was suddenly taken in an accident and I tasted for the first time what death of a loved one really means.

The best words spoken to me at the time were from an older woman who had many deaths in her past.

I said, “I just want to feel normal again.”

Her eyes held a soft and gentle smile and she sighed lightly.

“You will never have the same normal as before you lost your Dad, but what you can do is find a new normal and realize it is ok to feel you are missing something, because you are.”

There was so much healing for me in these words.

They came back to me when I lost my Uncle and then my Aunt, my Dad’s sister.

When we lost my husband’s Grandpa.

When I lost my Dad’s best friend.

When my bridesmaid lost her Dad, whom I also loved.

And many others I have not named.

 And they are healing again for me today, because tomorrow I go to a funeral.

She was the wife of my husband’s co-worker and we became friends. She was at my son’s baby shower and she made quilts for each of our children before we made a long journey to a new home. She was always interested in what we were doing and how the kids were. She would share stories of her quilting class and her dear nieces and nephews. She recently sent me pictures of her new kittens for their old and beloved cat had died and they had gotten two playful kitties to replace her. I am sorry to say that I had plans of going to see her after my husband and I came home from vacation and then I found out she died while we were away.

So I dig into the bag of helpful wisdom that has been given to me from friends and family and the Bible and I meditate on these things while I grieve for yet another death.

And the greatest part about it all is I have hope.

 I know my friend knew Jesus.

I am comforted in that.


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