Patience

patience

Do you ever have those moments?
The ones where you think to yourself if only I were a bit more patient I would have reacted a different way.
If only I were a bit more patient I would not be struggling with my anger right now.
If only I were a bit more patient I would be able to look at this situation differently.
When you close your eyes and grit your teeth and pray “God, give me patience!”
And He does.
But it never comes as I expect and it never looks like what I think it should and I do not suddenly have the extra grace I was expecting would just roll off my tongue for all those around me.
Instead
I hit my toe after I just smashed my finger because I lost my temper due to my own short sightedness.
I have salad dressing dropped in my lap from the plate that was jerked off the table to avoid the spilled juice.
Someone cuts me off and I miss the parking space that I needed because I am already ten minutes late to an appointment I don’t want to go to in the first place.
In all of this a still small voice speaks to me.
“You learn patience child through the trials of life. I will grant it to you if you look to Me instead of your own ability. I am patient, I am kind…”
And my spirit breaks
and I stop.
Confess my sins of anger and self will and poor attitude and then I praise Him.
After all patience is not a magic wand that will suddenly give me all the right attitudes and answers.
It’s a gift from the Father that comes only through knowing Him and allowing His movements in my every moment.

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One thought on “Patience

  1. Stephanie Wafer

    You are singing to the tune of every Mama’s heart.
    ‘After all patience is not a magic wand that will suddenly give me all the right attitudes and answers.’
    So true! I often let this line of thinking get to me regarding my ‘time with Him.’ “Lord, I prayed, read Your word, spent time with You, so why am I having such a rotten day?” Like it’s some sort of equation and formula. Then I remind myself- Jesus did all those things, and more, and He sure experienced some rotten days!
    It certainly isn’t about us, is it?
    Blessed by you, Hope!

    Reply

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